Welcome to our Expert Advice column, where we gathered a team of Human Experts to give you the very best advice for all of your human problems. This month’s advice is on the subject of how to start over with a brand new life.
Fake your own death.
Leak secret U.S. files and flee to Russia.
Burn your house down and go live in the wilderness.
Build an underground shelter and start life anew as a degenerate.
Drop out of school and use your tuition money to herd sheep in the mountains.