Little Debbie Gourmand

The 90’s were a time of fast money, inventive creativity, and foods only a child could love; in school yards across the country children were delighting over prepackaged sweets. Little Debbie was a household name and kids begged for Moon Pies, Star Crunch, and Cosmic Brownies. But were all the snacks we delighted in as children really that good? I took to the table to find out.

The hors d’oeuvres to my carefully-crafted meal consisted of une assiette de Starbursts,each piece still individually wrapped in a waxy colored paper.  I separated the fruity chews by color and started my meal, leaving the strawberry flavoured pieces for last.

The next part of my meal, the entree, came in the form of une tarte aux lunes (a Moon Pie), a delicacy first discovered in 1917. The confectionary, dipped in chocolate with a bold and airy marshmallow center, featured heavy notes of not-quite-graham cracker; I was transported back to my childhood.  The Moon Pie was accompanied by a tall glass of water (or two).

The water served as a palate cleanser, after which it was time for the main course. A delicacy for children of the 80s, Star Crunch, was the perfect way to close the meal. The crunch of the chocolate rice crispy was complementary to the soft cloying caramel center. On the side, I had a choice of either a midnight or original Milky Way bar. I chose midnight. The midnight bar was a thing of beauty— the smooth dark chocolate cut through the staggering sweetness. The chocolate malt nougat gave the whole bar a light airy feel while the caramel perfectly accompanied the caramel flavour to the Star Crunch.

Finally, it was time for my favorite part of any meal: dessert! After a small water break, I hung my head out the window for a few minutes. Then, I was ready. It was time for my childhood favorite: a Cosmic Brownie. The brownie was a chewy fudge-like texture— the packaged chocolate taste blasted me into the past, and the stale flavour from the candy coated chocolate chips really rounded out the dessert.

Between chews of brownie, I gulped down water, and finished off with a good long nap. All in all, my all sweets all the time meal really was Out of This World.


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