You’ve heard it so many times – celebrities are completely over-admired in our beautiful American nation. We care so, so much about what color nail polish Kim is wearing and who Taylor decided to take with her to the doctor and what kind of sandwich Katy is eating for lunch (fun fact: you automatically knew who I was talking about without hearing their last names).
Unfortunately, the people we idolize aren’t exactly who they may seem to be. Simply put, celebrities suck. They seem like they’ve got it all together, whether it be through luxurious song lyrics or killer fashion. Let’s take my pal Kanye for example; the man who can sell a 50 dollar t shirt because it has his god forsaken name on it. Mr. West is one of the most prolific rap, and possibly music, artists of all time and, more importantly, one of the most glorious caricatures of a human being, who seems larger than life and certainly more interesting than any of the stupid jerks you surround yourself with on a daily basis.
(Side note – Let me preface all of this by saying I genuinely do enjoy the contributions Kanye West has made to hip hop – this argument is not about his art but more so about his ever-wavering sanity.)
In the end, though, Kanye is a human being, like any of us. He has achieved great fame and notoriety, but has found himself just like the rest of us poor souls, answering to the beckoning pig we know as consumerism. Poor Kanye is in debt. But it’s much worse than the student loans that you won’t shut up about. think 53 thousand dollars is bad? Try 53 million. That’s three, count em, three extra zeros.
So, Mr. West got frustrated and complained the same way we all do – to the internet. Kanye’s tweeting habits have always kind of made him seem absolutely bonkers, but this twitter-novel of sorts was really a work of art from a beautiful lunatic. My personal favorite part: “Yes, I am personally rich and I can buy furs and houses (HOUSES!!!! PLURAL!) for my family, but I need access to more money in order to bring more beautiful ideas to the world.”
Alright, guys. Don’t pretend like you understand how a celebrity’s finances work. With labels and endorsements and a hell of a lot of zeros, handling that much income while trying to keep up a celebrity worthy lifestyle must be difficult. I can only picture the current emotional state of Kanye’s accountant/financial guru/whoever’s job it is to keep track of all the zeros. Actually, they have more than likely jumped off a cliff at this point. Rest in peace, whoever you are. We will never forget you, whatever your name is.
This is how I, personally, feel about the matter.
Who cares who cares who cares. Who cares who cares who cares who cares. Who cares who cares who cares who cares who cares. Who cares who cares!
Who cares who cares who cares who cares who cares? Who cares who cares who cares who cares. Who cares who cares who cares.
But people do care. They care so much. There are literally GoFundMes set up to help bail him out. Of course, some people did donate hundreds of dollars to the cause specifically to help Kanye find the light of Christ, but that’s a story for another day.
This is the the story I chose to regale to you to express a point about how gluttonous celebrity culture is in America, yet this is also just one of a comical amount of stories on TMZ, an American institution which, apparently, millions of people check into monthly with genuine interest in the stories. Why doesn’t all of America talk about it when YOU are in debt, or YOU make a fool of yourself at a party, or YOU pull a Rihanna and overcome bronchitis? Why don’t we ever think about that? Probably because we are too busy inspecting Khloe’s perfectly bleached asshole.
Basically, celebrities are people just like us – idiots. They certainly don’t deserve the level of respect we project onto them. But are they the idiots, or are we for putting so much faith into them, just to be consistently let down? Kim and Kanye, apparently, decided to say screw it and are now building a lake sized pool in their backyard. They’re fine, I promise. Focus on yourself.