Roommates: You can’t live with ‘em … and you don’t always want to!
One of the most exciting parts of “The College Experience” is getting to live on your own, without someone telling you what to eat, what to watch on TV, and when to go to bed. When you are at college, there are no rules…but while you may go out and party occasionally, sleep in regularly, and eat pizza like it’s going out of style, your roommate may find negative ways to take advantage of their new-found freedom. If they start to show some warning signs (i.e. rudeness, dirtiness, lack of respect for property, etc.), be sure to stay on your toes so that you can handle anything that might be thrown your way. Some of the stories that I’m about to share with you come from close friends and depict roommate encounters that you’re going to want to avoid at all costs!
“My roommates never cleaned up after themselves, and always kept food that went bad in the fridge. One day I was pouring a bowl of Cheerios and leaned in the fridge to get the milk, but droves of fruit flies came out instead. I shut the door immediately and called a roommate meeting where they blamed me for opening the door and letting them out.”
“I had invited my two best friends over for a Girl’s Night one night. When we went into the kitchen to make our Ham and Pineapple pizza however; I saw an empty can of MY pineapple slices in the sink. I texted my roommate who had been a huge fan of eating my food on a regular basis and asked her why she ate my pineapples and her response was a simple: ‘You didn’t eat it fast enough.’”
“My roommate used to cheat on her boyfriend with various guys from her Chemistry class, which was entirely her business… until one day I walked in on her and her latest conquest who were nice enough to be in MY bed.”
“Hey, remember that time your roommate slept with your boyfriend…I do.”
“My roommate often liked to blame me for her relationship problems with her Saudi Arabian boyfriend. Apparently, I was ‘too mean’ to him because we never sat down and had an actual conversation (maybe the language barrier did not help?). She then explained that I was the reason for their breakup and his moving back to Saudi Arabia.”
Just Plain Rude
“My roommate used to set up a tent in the lobby of our apartment building, because ‘the aliens were coming.’”
“My roommate was ‘an early riser’ but never woke up before 1 in the afternoon and would then blame me for ‘waking her up’ when I came home from my 10 am class.”
“One day when I was not even home, my roommate was busted for drinking alcohol on our dry campus, and when asked where she got her Captain Morgan from she said it was mine. We both got fined.”
“It was a snowy day when I went outside to shovel the sidewalk and a parking spot for my car. I had just finished shoveling out enough space when my roommate came home from work and parked in the snowless area.”
“One day my roommate got pretty drunk when she decided to climb up the ladder to the top bunk and chop off my hair because she ‘wanted to see if it would look like Pink’s hair’”
“I awoke one Saturday morning to do laundry, which was right next to my apartment, literally a door away. I had thrown my laundry in and decided that the clothes I was wearing could use a wash as well, so I stripped down to my undergarments assuming I’d just have to make a quick dash for the door. In the few min I was out of my apartment, one of my roommates came home and locked the door behind me. In a frantic run back to the laundry room, I hid behind the washer to plan my next move. I realized that the back door is always unlocked, but that would involve running outside in the broad daylight to get back into the house. I bolted for the back door with nothing on but my undies and a wash basket to shield maybe the little bit of decency I had left. We agreed to never lock the door unless we were sure no one else was home.”
Do YOU have a horrible roommate story? We want to hear from you! Email us your funny, humiliating, or frustrating stories about living with roommates to us: firstname.lastname@example.org
Your story might be featured in our next issue!