Top Five: SEPTA Stories

Because of its accessibility and ubiquity, public transportation brings people together from all walks of life. For us Philadelphians, we have the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority, more lovingly known as SETPA.  Anyone with first-hand SEPTA experience can attest to the weird, wacky, and sometimes even inspiring things that occur on a daily basis.  So without further ado, we here at LoCo show you our picks for the Top 5 Interesting/Weirdest/Funniest SEPTA stories.

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“I first moved to Philadelphia in summer of 2010. I was talking to some friends that had lived here for years, and they casually mentioned “Oh man, did you hear that a SEPTA bus ran into Monk’s on 16th Street? Can you believe it?” Everybody around me thought it was some huge joke, but since I had never been to Monk’s at that point (which you should totally visit if you like beer and/or french fries in mass quantities)…I just presumed that some crazy bus driver had mowed down a gathering of actual monks in the street. I didn’t know what sort of horrible dystopic city I had moved to where holy men would be slaughtered in the streets and the locals would find this hilarious. Luckily both Monk’s and any and all Philadelphia monks remain perfectly safe.” –Michael

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“Coming back to school from Winter Break, I was traveling to Philadelphia from New York.  I caught an outbound SEPTA train at 30th Street Station.  Going through Center City, everything seemed normal until we got to Market East.  I glanced out the window to watch the people boarding my train, and noticed something out of the ordinary.  Sitting at the base of one of the pillars was a man wearing handcuffs. Next to him, several police officers were searching his bag.   I thought it was going to be drugs or something, but what did they end up finding? A bag full of nunchucks, knives, and a legitimate katana (Japanese sword).  I had definitely never seen anything like that before.”  -Charlie

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“My friend and I got on the bus coming back from a University Seminar trip and this really dirty-looking guy sits down one seat away from me. When the bus started, he got up and moved so he was sitting directly next to me.  I’m sitting there texting someone and this guy looks over my shoulder and asks: “Texting huh?” When I say “yeah,” he proceeds to tell me why he hates texting. Then he starts asking me increasingly personal questions like my name, why I was in Philly, where I go to school, if I’m on my way home now, and where I live.  He did all of this before pretending to fall asleep. I start to get really freaked out. We finally reach our bus stop and my friend and I get off. The creepy guy opens his eyes, sees we got off the bus, and proceeds to follow us onto campus! He pretty much followed us to our car.  Instead of going straight back to our apartment, we drove around so he wouldn’t follow us home. I don’t know who this guy was, but he definitely didn’t go to our school.” –Ashley

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“My girlfriend and I were taking the Broad Street line subway back from a Philadelphia Wings game.  Halfway through the ride, something awesome happened.  There was a group of girls on the subway, probably in high school, that kept asking stoner-looking White guy questions about himself. “Do you go to college?  Do you have a girlfriend?” The guy was very open and answered all the questions but there was one question that stood out.  One of the girls asked “If you don’t go to college, what do you do?” The man then replied, “I’m a rapper, a musician.” The girls laughed at him. They didn’t think this scrawny little guy could rap at all, until he dropped a few lines.  The guy broke into a freestyle rap on the train and even sang a little bit of Meat Loaf’s “I Would Do Anything for Love.” When he finished, the entire car went nuts.  After we got of the subway, one of the train’s passengers who was listening to the “performer” the entire time, handed him his business card. Turns out he was a talent agent.” -Matt

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“I was taking the bus into the Philadelphia for the day with a couple of friends.  The bus was packed with people, so the only seats left were closer to the back.  This meant my friends and I were separated.  I found a seat next to an interesting looking man while the rest of my friends found seats further back.  The man was older, with long gray hair, white robes, and a matching pointy white hat.  His eyes were hidden by thick dark sunglasses, like the kind people wear after eye surgery.  The man seemed nice enough, so I sat quietly and texted with my friends joking about how I was sitting next to a wizard.  Suddenly, he turns to me, and with a gravelly voice asks, “Have you ever read the Satanic Bible?”  I froze to my chair, I was so afraid.  I shook my head and he continued to describe how the Satanic Bible held the true story of the universe.  I waited patiently for a different seat to open up.  When finally one did, I pretty much bolted away from the man, who I’m pretty sure was a Satanic Priest. Luckily he got off on the next stop, thank God (literally).” -Caitlin

 

 

 

 

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