Music has been a big part of my life ever since I was younger. My sister, who is five years older than me, was really into the mid 2000s pop-punk scene and was always blaring music from CDs that she burnt herself. They were full of songs she downloaded from Limewire (does it get any more 2000s than that?) Being the younger sister, I thought everything my sister did was cool and that she had the best music taste in the world. I wanted to like everything she liked. So, when my dad gave me his old Walkman after he upgraded to an iPod classic, I borrowed my sister’s burnt CDs to download all those songs onto my Walkman.
On one CD, there was a song that was totally different from the other Fall Out Boy, Blink 182, and All Time Low songs. It was Love Story by Taylor Swift. I was ten years old at the time, and I had heard the song before. I knew who Taylor Swift was, but had never paid much attention to her music before. I had never had a way to listen to my own music before. When I listened to that song again, on my Walkman, I instantly fell in love.
A few weeks after playing Love Story on repeat (and choreographing a dance to it), my mom took me to Best Buy and I bought two of her CDs, Fearless and her debut. They were the first two CDs that I owned (except for the High School Musical soundtrack). I would play them on repeat in my CD player alarm clock and dance around the room, screaming along to Forever and Always and The Way I Loved You. I bought my Speak Now CD a few weeks later, only a month or two after the album was released.
A week before my 11th birthday, my mom surprised me with tickets to Taylor Swift’s Speak Now show in Washington D.C. After opening the envelope, I practically flew across the room to give her a hug. Four days before my birthday, in my new outfit from Limited Too recently turned Justice, my mom and I drove from Baltimore to Washington D.C. for my first concert. We sang along to Mean in the car (one of my mom’s favorites) and I was giddy with excitement.
My mom bought me a tour t-shirt (which yes, I still have) and we got stadium food and listened to the opening act Hunter Hayes while we waited. I remember the lights getting dim, videos starting to play on the screens. I began to scream with the other Swifties when the words “DROP EVERYTHING NOW” reverberated through the huge venue and the show began.
I listened to Red the first day it was released and then almost a year later, my mom and I were going to see her Red tour show in D.C. I remember listening to State of Grace for the first time and thinking it was a magical experience. Ever since, I’ve wished I could relive that moment, hear that song for the first time again.
Now I do.
Taylor Swift was the first artist that I liked because I liked her music, not because of my sister. My sister had gone through a bit of a Taylor Swift phase when Fearless first came out, but quickly moved on and didn’t really listen to her music. She was decidedly not a Taylor Swift fan by the time I discovered her music. Taylor Swift, and specifically Fearless, will always mark the beginning of me forming my own music taste.
In high school, I began to think of myself as an alternative skater kid and liking Taylor Swift did not fit that image. Liking Taylor Swift did not seem cool, especially when she switched to solid pop music in her album 1989 and I thought pop was too mainstream for me. However, my guilty pleasure was listening to her music and I would still scream Blank Space in the car with my mom.
Thankfully, I realized a few years that I was allowed to like what I like even if it didn’t fit my “image”. Look What You Made Me Do is objectively a bop and was one of my most listened to songs of 2017. I slowly began to fall in love all over again with Taylor Swift and am proud to say I am back to being a full-fledged Swiftie.
So, when she announced that she was releasing her re-recording of Fearless and that Love Story was dropping that night, I nearly lost my shit.
I stayed up until midnight to listen to it (and anyone who knows me knows that I rarely stay up to midnight). I’m not ashamed to say I cried while listening because there I was, 21 years old in my own apartment getting to listen to the song that made me discover my taste in music over ten years ago. It was emotional. Not many people get to relive that journey of rediscovering their first favorite artist, but Taylor Swift gave that to me. All those songs that I listened to for the first time and was blown away by how good they are (The Way I Loved You, Better Than Revenge, Story of Us, State of Grace, and All Too Well… I’m looking at you). I’ve reverted back to my pre-teen self, but instead dancing around to I’m Only Me When I’m With You in my childhood bedroom, I’m dancing around in my apartment’s living room (good thing I’m on the ground floor).
It’s like reliving a magical part of my childhood. Except this time, I can do it with a glass of wine. Bring it on, April 9th. I know I’m not emotionally ready, but I’m not sure how much longer I can wait.
Feature Image from @taylorswift on Instagram
