My first semester at Arcadia was in the spring of 2019. President Nair was almost as new to the school as I, Financial Aid lived in the One-Stop Shop in Taylor Hall, and the vending machine in Murphy Hall was slightly more cooperative (and I do mean slightly). I will officially graduate next spring— in 2027. It’s safe to say that Arcadia and I are old friends.
To summarize briefly, I had two surgeries between 2020 and early 2023, which meant that college had to be put on the back burner for a bit. Oh, and there was that life-altering pandemic (which delayed one of the surgeries for a few months).
Since returning in the fall of 2023, I became instantly aware of a disconnect I hadn’t felt before in school. Although, at the time, I was only a couple years older, my age was showing. It’s not that being 26 itself is old. When I graduate and start working I’ll probably feel like a freshman again. But being older than almost everyone else in the room somehow turns a few years difference into decades.
Being the eldest student has felt frustrating at times. Not necessarily because of others, but because of me. In the four years I had been away, I had experienced a lot of “real life”. In my very first class back I sat next to three freshmen. It was so interesting to see their excitement of “what’s next?” Already they had started thinking about which year was best to intern, where they wanted to study abroad, and if their majors could equal working in other countries. Me? I was trying to sustain whatever came next. Personal experiences had made me more aware of the unfairness that could come with uncertainty. I couldn’t help approaching each new day, week, semester with caution. As we got to know one another, I couldn’t connect with their enthusiasm for the future.
While it has been a bit socially isolating, coming back to school with a different frame of mind has been useful academically. They say that as you get older, you become a version of your parents. Since returning, I’ve found myself eager to stay in and sleep early, annotate textbook readings, triple check grammar, and get feedback on multiple drafts. Now that could be me slowly morphing into my mother, or it could be crossing off the never-ending homework checklist. (Shoutout to Michael for the feedback and the weekly readings.)
Still, I must acquiesce, being around the young folk (even the 19 year olds), has been helpful too. Perhaps it’s silly, but participating in group chats that amass 30+ messages in a few minutes, being filled in on gossip right before class starts, and seeing three separate people do the 6-7 motion on the Green has kept a part of me optimistic, young, and a little lighter. It’s nice get a taste of the days where complaining about homework or who’s talking to whom were the most important things in life.
And in a heavy world that almost always demands us to grow up, that’s something worth appreciating.
Featured image by Mikael Kristenson on Unsplash.
