A few weeks ago, some of the Loco Mag staff (plus one boyfriend) gathered around to watch 13 Going on 30. We also decided to drink a lot of wine. This is what happens when you combine booze, a childhood movie, and the hardened outlook of adulthood.
We decided to turn our little movie night into a drinking game or sorts. Over on the right are the rules (please note that this is an almost impossible feat, so those who are 21+, please drink responsibly and don’t even try to power hour through the whole “Thriller” dance scene because you will probably die). Here are a few standouts:
- Drink until that rad 80s music is over
- Anytime there’s glitter
- Mark Ruffalo looks hot (basically drink always because that man is fine)
- “Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving”
- Every time you realize that you never want to be 13 again
It’s safe to say that those are a lot of rules. Do not do this. It did not end well, so learn from our mistakes. Now drink up!
Kara: This night is just an excuse to get drunk.
Megan: Getting drunk in the name of journalism.
Bri: I think it’s bad to start off with a power hour.
Brais: Who’s the Hulk in the movie?
Bri: No one has ever had a cloud as their school picture background
Kara: I never want to be 13 again.
Frances: Too much glitter.
Bri: Is THAT Ashley Bensen?
Frances: Teenagers should not happen.
Bri: [IMDB Check] That IS Ashley Bensen !!?
Kara: They wear crop-tops, Frances would fit in.
Kara: Mean girl looks like roommate’s friend
Frances: Popular girl looks like roommate’s friend.
Kara: They need feminism.
Brais: Is this a Mean Girls prequel?
Megan: JESSIE’S GOT HIMSELF A GURL
Bri: 5 minutes in and I already think I’m not going to make it to the “Why Can’t I Breathe” montage.
Megan: What if someone hot made you a house? LIKE IN THE NOTEBOOK!
Bri: “I’ve been working on it for three weeks!” – Three weeks ain’t nothin’ broski. Noah took three years to build a house.
Frances: This kind of reminds me of my first kiss. I made out in a closet because someone told me to.
Bri: This is me every morning.
Kara: Who wears eye masks anymore?
Kara:…She also likes to hold her boobs a lot.
Frances: Jennifer has big lips. She got it from her mama.
Megan: He looks like a 2004 version of Carrie Underwood’s husband.
Bri: Yes, let me use this umbrella to fend off all the naked attackers.
Bri: What kind of nickname is Sweetbottoms?
Megan: “I can’t remember my life!”- College.
Bri: Poise has to be the worst name for a magazine because is that a name for pads, like what? Sparkle is a much better name for a magazine.
Frances: Poise. All I can think about is adult diapers.
Megan: But what if you woke up and you were friends with Madonna?!
Frances: No. Go whenever.
Bri: HELLOOOOOO MARK!
Megan: CBGB SHIRT!
Megan: “You’re tall, you’re different”… YOU’RE THE HULK
Megan: BRI SANG THIS SONG FOR HER 6TH GRADE TALENT SHOW
Bri: I am scarred for life
Megan: “You want to see my ID? I totally have it.” – Jenna just turned 21.
Bri: That looks tasty. I want one.
Megan: She’s drunk. But she can still walk down the stairs. How.
Megan: DA DADADAD DA DA THRILLLAAAAAA
Frances: Her boobs are flicking around
Bri: Richard is totally staring at her jiggly boobs
Megan: Richard is definitely a vampire.
Kara: Her trying to flirt with a 13 year old is yucky
Frances: RAPE. Law and Order. SVU. Gross.
Bri: ALERT ALERT WE HAVE SPLIT WINE THIS IS AN EMERGENCY
Kara: Fiancé looks like Jenna
Bri: Do you realize he’s dating you, I mean you guys look exactly the same, that’s so creepy.
Megan: Matt’s fiancé is Jennifer Garner doppelganger. Also looks like a fish.
Bri: I’m sorry but no one with the name Wendy under the age of 35 can be your soulmate
Brais: [No longer paying attention]
Frances: OMG, weird ass striptease. Stop.
Bri: Who the f**k strips to “Ice Ice Baby”?
Kara: I spy a Chilton uniform
Megan: Becky has been GILMORED
Bri: Never ever ever have I felt the desire to put chopsticks in my hair. She looks like a tarantula.
Megan: 2 B OR NOT 2 B
Megan: Also, Bri has fruit roll ups.
Bri: This scene makes me so sad. Let’s drink.
Bri: Even the closet has the same shit in it 17 years later! Has no one heard of garage sales?
Megan: Jennifer Garner = cute duck.
Bri: Give me pancakes. Give me freckles. Give me more montages.
Bri: …because I’ve had a whole bottle of wine?
Frances: Deep thoughts on nostalgia. Where was I in 2001?
Brais: You were waiting for me to come into your life.
Frances & Brais: SEX HULK SMASH
Bri: LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD…. you are damn right it is
Frances: Battlefield. How corny.
Bri: “Heroin chic. Cause of death? Chicness” – Oh wow, you’ve sold me.
Frances: Gothic is so cool 2004. Middrifts….were so cool. Center parts are coming back.
Bri: Maybe the first thing they should do is change the name Poise.
Megan: Nostalgia does not make a magazine.
Bri: Wear a bra, Jenna. It won’t kill ya.
Bri: “The cutest little backyard wedding since I don’t know when!” – Since Four Weddings BITCH.
Bri: We’ve all dated that one guy who will turn into a cab driver.
Megan: JESSIE’S GIRL ROUND 2.
Bri: Yes, let me just hide behind these flowers. Ok. Sure. That’s an A+ hiding spot. Nancy Drew would be so proud of you.
Frances: What she should do is patent the iPhone.
Megan: Look, she came out of the closet.
Frances: The original selfie.
Frances: Ugly pink houses.
Brais: So the key to success is being a bitch?
Brais: It was shitty. No one even got punched. What kind of movie is this?
Screencaps credited to kissthemgoodbye.net .