Stop Sending Me Dick Pics

I will never forget the first time I saw a dick pic while sitting in my Honors Biology class freshman year of high school. The girl sitting next to me laughed as she passed me her phone and said, “Look what this random guy sent me.” It was a lot like that time when we had to dissect frogs. I could never unsee what I saw that day.  And I was very, very confused.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew exactly what it was.  I just didn’t know why I was being shown it. Let’s just clear the air and admit that we have all had our encounters with “dick pics”. They’ve been going around as long as I can remember, and it’s only getting worse with the rising uproar of Snapchat.

I’ll be honest and say that I don’t necessarily hate dick pics. I just don’t understand them.  I mean, I understand that it’s a picture of a penis, but again, WHY? What makes you think I want to see that right now? Did you happen to capture your dick in good lighting so it looks slightly bigger than it actually is, and now is your one and only chance to show off? Are you looking for feedback? Or are you really expecting me to reply with n00dz of myself? That’s funny, man. You’re going to have to work a little harder, because your dick pic isn’t very persuasive.

And what am I supposed to do with the picture after I look at it? Do I save it, do I delete it, do I show it to my friends? Do I lie and say your dick is looking really pretty today? Or do I just cover my eyes and pretend that I wasn’t just forced to see your genitals?

I think that’s the main problem I have with dick pics.  It feels a bit like sexual assault.  If you were to run into my classroom and randomly whip out your dick, it’s very likely you would face charges of some sort.  So when you’re sending me dick pics through Snapchat while I’m sitting in my lecture hall, it’s pretty much the same thing. Or even if I am in bed, do you really think I wanted to see your dick before going to sleep?  That is no way to charm a lady.  Unless I specifically ask you for a “sexy pic ;)” there is really no reason for you to be showing it to me.

I’m sure a huge part of it has to do with the male gaze, the way men objectify women.  Men want to see us naked, so they think we want to see them naked.  Which I’m not saying isn’t true.  I can totally appreciate a good-looking penis, sure.  But only if I am choosing to see said penis.  When you are sending me a ten second long Snapchat of it, there is no turning back once I open that Snapchat.  I guess I could just close it, but let’s be real— if you’re going to send me a dick pic, I am going to stare at it out of pure confusion and fascination (or pity…).  I’ve asked a handful of my female friends if they like dick pics, and not a single one said yes.   They all seemed to agree that they just don’t know what to do with them.

But for men, it’s completely different.  If we send a guy a picture of our tits, they’re going to appreciate it, no questions asked.  There is a double standard here.  One that, for once, really sucks for men, but totally benefits women.  Dick pics don’t seem to do anything to amuse us, but our tit pics— those are powerful.  You could get a guy to do almost anything just for a peek, because let’s be honest, tits are just a lot prettier than dicks. But keep in mind that your tit pics are literally being used just for some guy to get off.  And what are you getting out of it? Absolutely nothing, except maybe some weird useless dick pic. Not to mention that there are some sick fucks out there, and no one is to be trusted.  A girl’s reputation is so easily destroyed thanks to all the slut shaming our society does.  While if a guy’s dick pic gets around, no one really cares.  No one wanted it to begin with. And that includes me. I didn’t want to see that dick pic that day during my freshman bio class, and I certainly don’t want to see it now.

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  • Bri Wink says:

    My first dick pic was when I was 15, during a camping trip from some random guy that I’d only been talking to for like, two weeks. It wasn’t even a good one. I was so confused like, “wtf am I supposed to do with this, I’m currently eating a s’mores by the fire I did not sign up for this.” This is probably the greatest article Loco has ever seen. I’m actually snorting from laughing so loud, but really it’s true. Male gaze, female stereotypes, slut shaming….all of that totally comes into play with the doomed random dick pick even if you don’t actually realize it!

  • Sammy says:

    I’ve actually never received a random dick pic. I think I’m one of the few lucky ones. But I love this article – amazingly written as always!

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