Why Are You Like This?

Black Friday shopping. The scariest three word phrase, by far, that could ever cross anyone’s lips. Because yah, you know what we all wanna do in our spare time right after stuffing ourselves on Thanksgiving? Get trampled half to death over reduce-priced TV’s, couches, T-shirts, and various other electronic devices! Why does America enjoy this type of activity? Good question! Let me know if you ever find out.

Some members of my family get really into Black Friday shopping, my uncle’s current wives, in particular. She goes ALL OUT! She’s the type of woman that pulls the items out of children’s hands and runs off. She will fight a b*#$! over the last $100 camera. She don’t care!

I have never before had the desire to participate in this Hunger Games-esque, fight to death match over items that are barely sale-priced. However, this year, I decided I’d give it a go. The result?

Worst decision of my life. 0 out of 10. Do not recommend. To anyone who has never gone Black Friday shopping: You can be rest assured you are missing out on literally nothing.

The experience was pretty disgusting, or maybe I’m just an overly pessimistic person. I’m sure it was a little bit of both, honestly. First of all, the mall was overrun with desperate looking moms and their weary, beaten down, dead inside looking-ass children. I tried to not let that fact alone deter me in my pursuit.

In any case, the first incident that really upset me, there were absolutely ZERO clothes left in my size. Like, what?! I mean, how is that even possible? Are there really THAT many people that are trying to get smalls? So at that point, I was already upset.

The next event was kind of more of a series of events. All these people were rude as heck! I’m just trying to have a good time with my girlfriend finding discounted clothing items that aren’t even in my size and all these people are trying to give me attitude. I was being all nice, you know? Like, “Oh didn’t mean to bump you,” “Excuse me miss,” “Oh my gosh, pardon me, that was an accident”. What are these people’s responses? Eye rolls. Eye rolls all around.

Are there any civilized people left?! I just will never understand why people subject themselves to these activities if they aren’t going to even have an ounce of fun. Or if they aren’t willing to have interactions with people. Like do they honestly think that they’ll see nobody the whole time?! People just never cease to baffle me, honestly.

Let me know all about your Black Friday experiences below! The good, the bad, and the ugly!

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