I’ve discovered the art of being a good person: don’t get mad at people.
Ok, it’s a little more complicated than that, but here’s what I feel. Rather than getting mad at a person for something they did, or taking your anger out on someone, express what you feel calmly and simply. Here are the steps for how I do it.
First, analyze the situation. If you find yourself in a heavy situation, like when someone or something has angered you, make sure you actually understand what’s going on. Don’t make the mistake of getting upset over a misunderstanding. This may mean analyzing what the person said or did further, both in conversation with the other individual and on your own.
Part of this step should also be recognizing feelings. If you’re angry or upset, you should note to yourself that you feel that way. Equally important is trying to understand how the other person might feel too.
Once you’ve done this, you can start to express how you feel, but make sure to acknowledge what they’re going through, and keep calm. If the other person is apologizing for something, you could say “I appreciate your apology. I am a little upset, but I think it’s going to be okay.” The key here is focusing on the calm sense within, in order to not lash out at the other person.
After this, you can begin to dive into actually addressing the subject at hand. What this will look like depends on what the subject is.
The trick to all of this is that your anger isn’t taken out on a person. Getting mad or shouting at someone will rarely get you what you want, make you or the other person feel differently, or be productive in any way. Realizing this has helped improve my relationships and social life drastically. I cannot recommend this enough.
Author wishes to remain anonymous.
Featured Image credited to Madison Smarr.
