A Real Pain by Jessie Steinburg is just as it says– it’s about real pain. Raw pain, jealous pain, and pain that we learn to live with.
A Real Pain follows two cousins, David and Benji, as they tour Poland to honor the death of their grandmother. Throughout this trip, naturally, we learn more and more about the relationship between David and Benji– as well as who they are outside of it.
The movie shows all the small and big pains we deal with daily. One of the main pains, to me at least, is grief. As someone who lost their grandmother not too long ago, I understood the little comments that Benji would make now and then about their grandmother. The way he would always call her on Sundays, how she never seemed to be embarrassed about him– how even David’s toes reminded him of her. He remembers and reminisces throughout the whole movie because that is now all he has of their grandma. Grief has clung onto him tight, yet it is only in those small moments– those little comments— that you see the veil that is over him.
Yet he lives, and he brings joy in every step that he takes. And that is exactly what causes some of David’s pain– the fact that he would never become the person that Benji is. He will never be able to light up a room with just one step, he will never be able to be so carefree. He will never be that person, and it pains him every time he realizes that– which is every time he is with Benji.
There is one line that David says, in the middle of his rant during dinner with the rest of the people on the tour,
“I, like, come home at the end of the day, and I, like, move forward, you know, because I know that my pain is unexceptional, so I don’t feel the need to, like, I don’t know, burden everybody with it, you know?”.
This line resonated the most with me, the one that almost everyone can relate to. There are so many times that we hurt in silence, just because of the simple fact that we think it is unimportant to share and burden someone else with. We carry it ourselves. Knowing that if it were anyone else that we love and cherish, we would want them to shoulder their burden with us– no matter how heavy.
With that being said, this movie speaks equally as much through its quiet moments as it does through its more charged scenes. In some scenes, it was a little boring to sit through. I have a feeling that this is one of those movies that have to simmer and soak in time, and only until that process has taken its course, will you understand it just a bit more.
Overall, it was a heartfelt movie that may not completely move you but will leave you with the feeling seen, even just a little.
Photo credit: Raph_PH CC BY 2.0 License
