Allora Vs. Issue 5

Allora Vs. 

Issue 5: Allora vs. Kate

Topic: Rom-Coms

*Disclaimer* Allora Vs. is a series focused on my own opinions and the opinions of those I interview. I am in no way advocating for or against any of the topics discussed… most of the time. These are simply opinion based discussions about controversial and/or comedic topics in society.

This issue has been in the making for about 3 years, before I even knew I would be on Loco staff or have this column. My friend, bully, and editor in chief Kate and I have had a very interesting dynamic since we met in the spring of 2017. A mutual friend group delivered us to each other during Spring Fling Freshman year, and here we are today. 

Our friendship is strange. It’s the type of relationship that revolves around bullying, but a loving kind of bullying. We argue about literally everything, much to everyone else’s despair, but it’s how we bond. It’s how Kate decided to join Loco Mag staff, and here she is running our magazine. So, I guess you could say it’s beneficial. 

Due to the fact that these are our last few months on staff, I knew I had to document an argument between us- but about what? When our theme “Fever Dream” was confirmed as the 49th issue theme, it dawned on us that there was really only one argument we needed to have in writing. It all started with this tweet:

Followed by this series of replies:

So without further ado, I present this issue of Allora Vs.

Allora: So Fever Pitch

Kate: I fucking love it

A: I hate it

K: What’s so bad about it? How is it so bad?

A: Jimmy Fallon. See, I love Jimmy Fallon, but I hated his acting in that movie.

K: Okay, I’m the opposite. I don’t really like watching him on The Tonight Show, but I enjoyed him in this. But also Drew Barrymore is there, so…

A: I can agree with you about Drew Barrymore.

K: She saves that movie. She’s like the only thing that’s happening. It’s not an exercise in great acting, it’s just a fun movie to watch.

A: My general feelings toward this movie stem from the fact that I LOVE baseball, and when I was younger I always wanted that plot to happen to me. I was gonna fall in love with a big baseball fan and go on fun baseball dates and have the best seats and meet people… and now I’m 21 and lonely.

K: So you’re telling me that the reason you hate this movie is mostly because the plot line hasn’t happened to you? That this big goof hasn’t almost lost his girlfriend because of his season tickets?

A:… Yes. 

K: That’s. Ridiculous.

A: I know it’s ridiculous

K: YOU ATTACKED ME saying this was the worst rom com of all time when The Ugly Truth, What’s Your Number, and all of those movies exist, because you aren’t living out this dumb plot. I mean, it’s not a great rom com, or a great movie in general, but it’s not the worst. It’s not Mean Girls, 10 Things I Hate About You, Legally Blonde. It’s not bad, though-

A: It’s bad

K: But why? You’re not giving me reasons. You’re just saying it’s Jimmy Fallon and your jealousy.

A: THOSE ARE MY REASONS!

K: THOSE AREN’T REAL!

A: Moving on.

K: To what?

A: Not Fever Pitch.

K: Why? It’s good. And you’re a bully.

A: Drew Barrymore.

K: 50 First Dates. A banger.

A: BANGER!

K: I’m a closted Adam Sandler fan.

A: I love him.

K: I love Drew in that movie. But they use “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” too much

A: Wouldn’t it be nice if

Both: We were older. THEN WE WOULDN’T HAVE TO WAIT SO LOOONG

…

K: That song sucks.

A: UH?

K: It doesn’t suck. But it’s not one of those songs you’re like- let’s listen to this right now.

A: I mean… okay. Never Been Kissed

K: I don’t know if I’ve ever seen it.

A: (gasps)

K: I’ve never watched it. Is it good?

A: It’s… weird. It has John C Riley in it, so it’s already good. 

K: Oh, that’s your measure of quality?

A: Yes. So she’s this journalist who goes undercover in a high school to see if she can be popular because she wasn’t when she went to high school.

K: Does she fall in love with a student?

A: She falls in love with her teacher, but it’s weird because he’s under the impression that she’s, like, 17. The dynamics are really weird. 

K: How does she just go undercover in a high school?

A: There are some plot holes, for sure. But I like it because it’s a story that revolves around what we go through on a regular basis. She’s looking to find a good story to write about, but she’s trying to write one thing and her boss is telling her another. And it’s like this struggle to find her big break. And I feel like that’s just going to be me for the rest of my life. Wanna know how it ends?

K: Does she get kissed?

A: Yes. He finds out she’s using him for a story, and that sort of explodes. So she writes this story about how she feels bad and wants a second chance. And how she’s never been kissed. And prompts him to meet her on the pitcher’s mound- another baseball reference- before this high school baseball game and kiss her… in front of the whole student body… Weird. 

K: Yeah but she was a fake student, it’s not that weird. 

A: But he thought she was 17 when this whole romance was blossoming. 

K: Hmm.

A: What’s your favorite rom com?

K: I mean, it’s probably Legally Blonde just because I’ve watched it so many times. It never gets old. I love a lot of them, but that one just encompasses my love for that genre. I also love How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. I get shit for it all the time but-

A: Is that the one with Kate Hudson?

K: Yeah, it’s so good.

A: Okay, but Leap Year bangs.

K: It does. It’s my roommate’s favorite movie. My favorite trope in a movie is when people who aren’t together have to act like they’re together. 

A: I love that shit. 

K: They’re so cute. That’s what I want- to trek around Ireland in some shite car… I haven’t even mentioned that Amy Adams is in that movie, and she’s so good in it.

A: There it is.

K: I love her. The movie’s not perfect, it’s too long.

A: But I love every minute of it. 

K: Exactly.

A: What’s a movie you think I’d hate?

K: Have you ever seen Life As We Know It?

A: I just added it to my Netflix list.

K: You might hate it. Have you seen Knocked Up?

A: Yes.

K: 27 Dresses?

A: Of course.

K: The Netflix original Falling Inn Love?

A: YES! It made me laugh. It’s bad.

K: Have you watched Valentine’s Day?

A: The one with all of the Taylors?

K: Yeah.

A: No. I refused to.

K: Good. Don’t. It’s garbage.

A: I figured. 

K: What’s one that I would hate?

A: Hmm. Good Luck, Chuck?

K: Seen it. With Dane Cook?

A: Yeah. 

K: Yeah, it sucks.

A: She’s All That?

K: That movie pisses me off. It just promotes the idea that the nerdy girl gets a makeover, and we all like her now-

A: Did you mean The Princess Diaries?

K: That’s a little better, it’s still an asshole thing, but…

A: Failure to launch?

K: (whispers) I like that movie.

A: Come on!

K: It’s not a great movie, but…

A: Between Failure To Launch and Fever Pitch?

K: Failure to Launch is worse.

A: Wrong. Do you have any final words?

K: The only final words I have are that we really only agree on the fact that Good Luck, Chuck is terrible and Leap Year is great.

A: Bet. And with that, we can sign off.

So we basically went nowhere, fast, but our love/hate for rom coms felt like the right thing to discuss, and we still had a great time.