After what seems to have been a hibernation period of about 3 years, Amanda Bynes has re-emerged via Twitter and is… almost completely unrecognizable. Clad with dimple piercings and obvious lip injections, our 90’s Nickelodeon queen is back on the scene. Well, almost.
Remember in All That when ten-year-old Amanda played “Ask Ashley,” a temperamental girl who would answer “Dear Abby” style letters by yelling at the camera from her bed? Or in The Amanda Show, where she played her own stalker, Penelope Taint? And who could forget when she co-starred with Frankie Muniz in Big Fat Liar, the film responsible for Paul Giamatti’s association with the color blue?
But just recently…
With one tweet, Amanda Bynes reminded us that the old days are dead and gone. The case has been closed. The dancing lobsters have been brought in and subsequently steamed alive.
If you’re one of the billions of people on Twitter, you’ve probably seen this tweet. After almost 44,000+ RT’s since she posted it less than a month ago, it’d be kind of hard not to.
Upon visiting her Twitter (@amandabynes), one is greeted with a tiled, low-quality rose-framed background of a smiling blue Amanda Bynes (Big Fat Liar reference?) The background itself screams “Welcome to my post-nineties Nickelodeon nightmare.”
And the tweets echo it. Her first of them, posted on January 29th of this year, reads simply “Xoxo <3” and attached is a selfie. However, this selfie isn’t your run of the mill duck-faced, young girl using the infamous “MySpace angle.” No, THIS selfie is of the mirror species, complete with TRIPOD and FLASH. Amanda Bynes, you really don’t know how to internet do you?!
Since then, her Twitter feed has been chock full of tweets which, as we can guess, reflect Amanda’s current state of mind: chaos. In the past 2+ months since she’s started using Twitter, we’ve seen such gems as “Walking with a limp,” “If you were hot, I’d be so into you. Dedicated to my exes still tryna holla,” and “If I’m not following you on Twitter I hate you.” She’s also subjected her followers to countless tweets reminiscent of eighth-grader romance like, “When I like you, no one could say anything to change the way I feel” and “It doesn’t matter what you think about yourself. All that matters is what your lover thinks of you.” The latter comes as a slap in the face to those in abusive relationships.
But amidst all this chaos, there are some redeeming qualities of Amanda’s Twitter feed. In one tweet, she says, “Check my twitter for updates on my clothing and perfume line plus pix!” And that’s like, totally great and original… right? I mean, it’s only been done by Britney Spears… And Mariah Carey… and the Olsen twins…
Alright, there’s actually nothing redeeming about Amanda’s Twitter. It reeks of maladjustment and is just sorta pathetic. At least she hasn’t been recently arrested right? Wait, she’s been accused of two hit-and-runs and driving on a suspended license in the past year? Oh…
I guess at this point, we’re just witnessing another classic downward spiral from a washed-up celeb. Except now, we can watch it realtime via Twitter! Imagine if Britney Spears had a social media account back in ‘07?
Yet, Amanda Bynes reminds us:
and I sincerely hope that future will include Drake murdering her vagina.
