Being isolated and snowed-in in a college apartment doesn’t exactly sound like a blast. But it’s part of going forward for me. It’s part of being away from home.
The word “away” has held a lot of meaning for me over the past year. It came in different ways.
I first went away in January of 2020. I was going away to start my second semester of studying abroad. I was so excited to begin this new independent life in my favorite place. I was working at CBS News in London and I truly felt like an adult (which was weird for me). It was the internship of my dreams. I commuted everyday to Gunnersbury- an hour and fifteen minutes it usually took. But I didn’t mind, not one bit. The news team trusted me with a lot. I got to interview people in Piccadilly Circus, watch the royal family walk into Westminster Abbey, travel to Oxford University, and man the teleprompter on live television. It was incredible. It felt so nice to be away.
I met the best people in London, too. My flatmates and I were destined to be best friends. The three of us watched Love Island most nights after coming home from our internships. We would belt our hearts out at the karaoke club too. We would find weird grocery stores and watch Tiktoks on the Tube. My time was even more memorable because I got to share those memories. I loved being away yet close to genuine people.
My favorite part was Spring Break. I started off my trip travelling to Athens, Greece. There, I met up with a fellow Arcadia student who was studying at the centre there. It was like all of my Percy Jackson and Mamma Mia dreams coming true. We traveled to the island of Aegina on the most beautiful day. I will never forget how breathtaking Greece was.
After my first stop, I met up with one of my flatmates in Vienna. We spent everyday listening to One Direction while wandering through palaces and gardens. We took the bus to Budapest after that and I fell in love with yet another city. During that trip, I was just happy to be away from classes.
But sometimes, for some reason, I have this feeling that if too much good stuff is happening to me, some weird energy or a higher power will eventually come to take it all away.
And it did. I was sent away. Away from London. The pandemic came and completely shook my world. With no warning, I felt like I was uprooted out of a perfect dream and thrown into a nightmare. And it seemed like I landed right back into high school. I was living with my parents. My independence slipped away just as quickly as it began. My world went from 100 to zero in a week.
So I was walking the dog four times a day and finishing seven paint by numbers. I felt like a robot or a “sim”. Waking up to a life with no real experiences. I did my silly little tasks and repeated them everyday. I remember one day I got to the end of a Netfilx series, That 70s Show, and I immediately decided to start back at the beginning of the first season. My life was a circle. At the time, all I wanted to do was be away from that. Now, that time is kind of nostalgic to me. It was simple. It was easy.
Then the summer came and so did grief. It broke me from my simple and easy world. It was then that my grandpa passed away from Covid. He lived in Manhattan in a beautiful apartment in Lincoln Center, but it was a hotspot for the disease. We couldn’t be with him in the hospital. We didn’t get to speak with him. We didn’t know the details. I felt so far away.
In the fall, I was told I couldn’t go away. I had to do my classes at home. It became too much living with my parents and my sister. Four fully-grown adults under one roof was anything but calm. Too many times was my Zoom call interrupted. I just looked forward to the day I could go away again.
And that day came. I am back on campus, living with one of my best friends. It’s just us most of the time, but I haven’t minded too much. Coming back to campus, being away, means so much to me. I am making strides towards independence again.
Things are not the same at school anymore but it doesn’t mean it’s bad. I take walks in the snow, try random crafts, and find new things to bake. I find comfort in the memories I made in London and I reflect on the hardships of the year. Even though I am away from my parents I still feel close to them. I know I am where I should be.
So, I am back to being away from home. Away from all the little things in my house I never noticed before quarantine. Away from the past. But I’m not too far away from my goals. And maybe the higher power or weird energy was right. Maybe I was meant to be away.
Now, I am moving forward. Even if that means staying put for a while.
