Hi everyone.

Here’s a list of 20 things that really bother me. If any of these things speak to you on a deeply personal level, let me know so we can be friends. Thanks.

  1. When you put a load in the dryer and take it out and it’s still mildly damp but not actually wet so you can’t tell if it’s wet or just slightly cold.
  1. Speaking of wet clothes, when you put on socks and then immediately, accidentally step in something wet.
  2. When you’re on the phone with someone and two people start having a conversation with each other RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
  3. When you’re at the grocery store and you’re at self checkout and you go to scan something and it says to put the last item in the bag, but you already put the last item in the bag so you try to fool the system by taking it out and putting it back in, but then it calls you out and tells you to re-scan your food but it’s ALREADY ON THE CHECKOUT LIST.
  4. Speaking of grocery stores, when you only have a handful of things and there’s a line at self checkout so you decide to go to the express lane, but a middle aged woman sees you going for the same lane as her and her cart full of 18 cases of Powerade for her middle school age sons, so she runs and hops in line in front of you and your handful of mini M&M’s and Lay’s barbecue chips, and then you’re stuck there for 900 hours.
  1. When you’ve planned out a conversation in your head and the other participant goes COMPLETELY off-script and it throws you off so your next three responses sound super socially awkward.
  2. When you’re driving and no one’s using turn signals (I’m looking at you, Pennsylvania drivers).
  3. When you stop at a crosswalk to let someone cross because you’re not an all around shitty person, and they decide that means that they can walk at approximately -5 miles per hour.
  4. When you’re in line for something and the people in front of you aren’t paying attention and the line shifts, but they don’t move up.
  5. Oatmeal cookies without raisins in them.
  6. When you have ad blocker on but every website you click on has 600 ads.
  7. When it’s super quiet and someone decides to eat something REALLY CRUNCHY.
  8. When you’re in the car with someone who doesn’t know how psychotic you are and they change the volume but they put it on an even number and not an odd number.
  9. When you notice really small things in TV shows like when an actor answers a phone call and you can see the phone screen and can tell that they’re not actually on the phone because you can see the background picture.
  10. The vein in Julia Robert’s forehead.
  11. When someone makes food and has leftovers and puts them in the fridge… uncovered.
  12. Tampon commercials (seriously, every gal has a brand, and your happy, sporty, conventionally attractive woman playing tennis in all white is not going to change my mind).
  13. People who beep excessively in traffic.
  14. When a concert ticket is advertised as $15 but has $45 worth of fees for buying it online.
  15. Donald Trump (y’all knew it was coming).

Try not to judge me too hard?

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