Dear reader,
My life for the past few months has been about writing letters. I’ve fixated on the U. S. Postal Service, war correspondence during World War I, and how letters give us insight into the private lives of Emily Dickinson, Martin Luther King Jr., and Vincent van Gogh. The reason writing letters is so important to me is because I write letters to my friends, which I started during this pandemic.
Originally, my friend and I started writing to each other to spite the Trump administration when he was dumping on the U. S. Postal Service. Now that I’ve learned so much more about the history and culture surrounding letter writing and the U. S. Postal Service, our rebellion towards his efforts to oppress one of the most important communication systems we have in America makes me all the prouder. While this letter exchange began with a narrow focus to support the U.S. Postal Service, it evolved into a correspondence that’s been going strong since last summer. Since then, my friend’s sister has started writing me letters, as well, and another friend of mine that I met during the pandemic got excited about exchanging letters after reading all my blog posts on this subject. As time continues and I share my love for letters, my number of correspondents grows.
When I sit down to write a letter, I try to focus on one or a few important occurrences or events that have recently happened in my life. There are a multitude of reasons as to why I think writing letters is beneficial, not just to me, but to everyone.
1. It’s therapeutic.
Isolation has put a psychological strain on all of us. Not being able to see people, hear other people’s voices, or feel a sense of community creates feelings of loneliness, anxiety, stress, and, for me, depression. Sure, we can post pictures on the ‘Gram, or text and Zoom our friends, but there’s a disconnect between how we used to be able to communicate and how we’ve been communicating during the pandemic.
For me, writing letters allows me to be intimate and open myself up to people despite isolation. When I sit down to write, I reflect on what’s happened since I wrote this person last—how are school and my relationships going, what stresses have been taking up brain space, and what things have I found that make me happy? I look to the past, present, and future to write to my friends, because I want to share what’s happened, how I’m moving through life now, and what I do and do not look forward to in the future. Sometimes I only focus on one time frame, but at the end of the day sharing aspects of your life with someone creates a connection between the two of you, and that’s what writing letters is all about.
For instance, when I had a falling out with someone last semester, I focused on that topic as I wrote to my friend and vented all my anger and frustrations. Afterwards, I felt a million times better, like I unpacked a huge bag of luggage and didn’t have to worry about it anymore. My friend and I talked about that letter and shared stories of times in which people have hurt us, but also how we’ve healed from those experiences. Venting in a letter can also be therapeutic for you if you just want to sit down and get those feelings out in a healthy way, even if the letter is only ever read by you.
Other times I share how I’m doing in school and it reminds me that despite how much we all hate Zoom, I am doing well and coping the best I can. This also offers my friend an opportunity to share how she’s been doing in school if she’d like, and we can relate to each other’s experiences. We share the music we’ve been listening to, the books we’ve been reading, and talk about our favorite classes.
I’ve also noticed that when writing letters, I think people feel more comfortable sharing personal information with friends and family because of the level of intimacy letters give us. You can pour your heart on a page, but don’t have to look the person in the eyes while doing so. When my friends reach out to me about certain things that are bothering them, like maybe how people have disappointed them or if they’re struggling in any way, they have a space to vent and I can give advice on how I deal with those issues if they ask for it. It’s a nice, pressure-less outlet to just be yourself and share specific experiences or thoughts with another person.
2. Unplugging doesn’t contribute to burnout.
This may be one of the best reasons as to why writing letters is amazing: I don’t have to stare at a screen.
I stare at a screen quite literally from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep. All my classes are online, most of my homework requires a computer or cellphone, my professional work is all done online, and the modern ways in which we communicate with people (via text, social media, email, etc.) are also all done online.
Writing a letter doesn’t require electricity at all unless you prefer to write by lamplight at midnight. No screens are involved and that is a win.
3. You can be creative.
My friends often decorate the outside of the letters before they send them to me, drawing or painting on the envelope. For Christmas, my friend water colored the letter itself and then wrote on the colored page in black to wish me a happy holiday season.
When I send letters, I often draw little doodles in the margins of either something I’m feeling or an image that relates to what I wrote about. Many people like to make their letters look like a piece of art, and that makes it fun.
4. You can learn new things about your friends you probably wouldn’t have through virtual communication.
My friends don’t really talk about their relationships online, nor personal health problems or mental health issues they struggle with, and neither do I. However, I’ve had friends share some of their personal struggles and triumphs through their letters and I’ve shared so much of my life that social media never gets to see. Social media never sees your breakups or breakdowns, but the letters I write sometimes do.
I don’t want people to think that writing letters to someone is equivalent to making your pen pal play therapist or something. I just mean that you can be intimate with someone—and that includes positives like a story behind a job promotion or a strange but uplifting encounter you had—without having to pretend to be perfect all the time in the ways that social media and virtual communication set the bar for. Your thoughts are more you than anything else in this world.
5. Letters are keepsakes and memories—you can grow together.
I’ve kept all the letters my friends have sent me. Writing letters isn’t something I’ve done for an extremely long time since I only started doing this last summer, so I don’t have enough keepsakes that I think I’d want to sit there and reminisce about what’s been exchanged. But I do think in a few years from now I could sit down and look at what I’ve been sent and think about what I’ve sent other people and see how we’ve both grown as people and shared our lives through writing. In 50 years from now, I know I’ll definitely want to sit down and read letters I’d been sent decades ago. I get to keep that as little token of a point in time in somebody else’s life, as well as my own, and that’s pretty cool.
Sincerely,
Michaela Coll
p. s. Check out my letter writing project here, here, and here to learn more about letters!
Featured image from Canva.com
