How long has it been since my life was changed forever?
It was around this time, one year ago, I found true enlightenment. Yes, even now I can recall the memory so clearly, yet faint enough to elude my senses. The heat of the sun bore down on the world’s inhabitants and I sought refuge from the harsh light. I was given it by a golden coating of plastic, glimmering like a beacon sent down by the divine.
Because it was. I had found Bibleman.
It wasn’t in order; in fact, the DVD held only one episode. But it was a deep comfort to my soul that I had stumbled before the majesty that was Bibleman. What is Bibleman? Bibleman is everything. Bibleman teaches us right from wrong and solace from our deepest desires.
Bibleman is an American produced direct-to-video series that promoted Christianity from the years 1995 to 2010. Think of similar Christian-based programs like VeggieTales. Now perish the thought of it, because Bibleman is so much more than the inferior animated show with singing vegetables and an occasional lecturing grape.
Vegetables don’t even talk. That’s the Devil’s work.
Bibleman’s premise follows the adventures of the mighty Bibleman, a mythical Christian hero sung highly in folktale and dressed in the divine garbs of holy enchantment. With such power, he battles scheming agents of the Devil, dark harbingers who delight in messing with middle-school children and ruining their day. And the worst part is they’re damn proud of it.
Only Bibleman and his trusty companions, Cypher, Biblegirl, and the divine talking computer U.N.I.C.E. can thwart this evil, often with the power of reciting scripture. Don’t be fooled however; Bibleman has much more weapons at his disposal than the holy word.
The episode I was blessed to witness, Bibleman Adventure: Breaking the Bonds of Disobedience, displayed Bibleman’s variety of skills and prowess. In said episode, Bibleman holds auditions for the local play, aptly named, “The Bibleman”. However, he is soon captured by the nefarious Luxor Spawndroth and his equally despicable henchman, Ludicrous.
Teamed with the evil satanic super computer Luci, they capture Bibleman and brainwash him to disobey God’s rule, corrupting him into a no-good delinquent rebel. But with the help of Cypher and the newly awakened Biblegirl, Bibleman is able to overcome such temptations and defeat his enemies with the power of scripture, teamwork, and friendship.
And the Sword of the Spirit of course, a holy lightsaber that cuts foes like butter.
What I learned from just this single episode is that Bibleman is truly the best show ever. To my surprise, there’s a lot of adult humor and jokes that many young viewers won’t be proxy to. It was quality material with no real reason to be; though perhaps I was the fool to ever doubt Bibleman’s teachings.
Bibleman has thrived even without my ignorance; the show has had three separate runs-The Bibleman Show, The Bibleman Adventure, Bibleman: Powerhouse respectively-in its entirety. Even today, Bibleman: The Animated Adventures is still airing and has been since 2016.
But Bibleman isn’t restricted to only television and entertainment. His influence spreads wide and far, touching every corner of the market. From action figures, books, board games and even a full-fledged video game released in 2005, Bibleman has become a cultural icon with brand recognition.
And who can deny it? He’s been accepted in a positive manner over the years for his truth and valiance, eclipsing the imitations of his time. While the lackluster rabble such as VeggieTales continues to isolate their fans with this “new animation style”, Bibleman continues to please repeatedly with its quality content and true-hearted nature.
And its lightsaber duels.
I love Bibleman and you should too. Because Bibleman loves you.
