Welcome to our Expert Advice column, where we gathered a team of Human Experts to give you the very best advice for all of your human problems. This month’s advice is on the subject of how to pack for an outer space journey.
The Ultimate Zero-Gravity Packing List
- A blanket in case you get cold or move closer to the sun, that’d be a great idea!
- Make sure to take only liquid bath products – liquid toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, etc. They glide a lot smoother in space!
- Make sure those liquid products are under 3 oz or you might encounter some issues with space TSA.
- Be sure to bring a horse in case you want to travel outside the ship.
- Bring a goldfish bowl for proper head protection and one for your horse.
- A morphsuit is the only way to survive the pressure in space. Bring 3, and don’t forget one for your horse.
- Moon shoes are a MUST.
- Have you ever seen Alien? To protect yourself from a similar tragedy, cover your stomach with duct tape. As a matter of fact, duct tape yourself facing the wall for maximum safety.
- Pepper spray… Just in case the Alien gets a little handsy. Aim for the one eye.
- REESE’S PIECES!!! Have you ever seen E.T?
- Bring a flag with your face on it and replace the American Flag on the moon.
- Blue face paint, in case you crash land on Pandora.
- James Cameron himself. It seems like he’d know what to do in the event of an emergency.
- Sunglasses. I hear the sun is blinding.
- When going as far away as space, you can never pack too much!
