When it comes to being transgender, people dress to pass as their desired gender. Trans men can dress in men’s jeans, men’s shirts, and men’s suits. Trans women can dress in long skirts, crop tops, and heels. It helps them be comfortable in their skin and happy with how they look.
But what happens when you identify on the gender neutral in-between of the spectrum, like me? Most clothing nowadays is very gender-based. You can walk into probably any retail store or clothing center and it’s almost always separated in men’s, women’s, and children’s sections. It’s difficult to find stuff to wear that won’t make us be seen as one gender or the other.
Despite that, every nonbinary, genderfluid, and agender person has a different way to dress to be confident with themselves. There’s a lot of experimenting with different styles and mixing and matching, but eventually, we find something that works for us. I’ve found my style and I’m very happy with it currently.
In the year that I’ve been out of the closet to my mother, and probably even way before that, I’ve always been super self-conscious about how I looked and dressed. Anytime there was a concert or dance at my school that required formal wear, it was always the moaning and groaning about having to dust off my dresses (didn’t really ever complain about the heels, though). Normal days before I realized I was nonbinary, it was always weird to look at other girls wearing croptops, short-shorts, and sneakers (I was sitting in class with bootcut jeans, a t-shirt, hoodie, and cheap Target combat boots).
After I came out both to myself and my mom, I didn’t really change my style all that much. I was pretty much dressing how I wanted to. I really started toying with the idea after I added my first flannel to my collection.
I distinctly remember the day I first wore it, too. It was the first time in a long time that I actually put effort into making sure I liked how I looked instead of just throwing on what I usually wore. I looked myself up and down in the mirror, taking in the black-gray border tee tucked into black skinny jeans, off-brand Vans, and the black-and-white flannel rolled up to my elbows, and for once I was actually happy with how I looked.
Since then, it’s a lot of fluctuating between the two; sometimes I’ll switch up my shoes or if I wear a hoodie or a sweater, sometimes I’ll tuck in my shirt, if it’s cold enough I’ll slap on a beanie and pull my fluffy flannel over my hoodie. I’ve been a lot more confident in my appearance and I’d like to think I can pass off as gender neutral.
As of quarantine and getting back into pop culture, I’ve seen so many gender neutral clothing brands pop up here and there and different idols dressing in gender neutral or opposite gender clothing brands. It’s exciting to see the stigma around clothes being for one gender getting broken down so that people can wear whatever they want to wear.
