In late December, a college student’s dream is the arrival of winter break. During that time, we no longer stress about classes, those that we failed and those that we passed by the mere skin of our teeth. Instead, we curl up into little balls in the corner of our rooms and pretend we don’t exist (at least that’s what I do). However, in addition to our pondering of the world and why we exist, we can play a game. This game allows us to live out our lives through other people, making all the horrible choices you wish you did and wondering why your future career choice is at the bottom of the occupation’s list. That game is called Bitlife.
Imagine, you are in your corner, when you suddenly open Bitlife and you are a child named Dick Cockford. Your mom is nineteen and your father is fifty. Apparently you were a planned pregnancy and you’re also from Italy. Fascinating. You can’t do much with your life till about the age of six years old. You start elementary and you can spend time with your mom and dad. That is when it can get wild. One day you’re in class, studying hard, and the next you’re assaulting your classmate for bullying you: “You broke their spleen. You detached their butthole” appears on the screen. Pretty intense I know, and that is just the start of one of your many lives to come.
In another life I was filthy rich from being a porn production director, making two-million a year. I owned twenty different cars and three different houses, and as successful as I was there were many chances I could’ve messed it up. I was offered crack, I was asked to deliver suspicious packages outside the country for money – anything you can think of. It’s fun to take the risk and sometimes we get a little too risky and you end up dead at the age of nineteen because of a crack overdose. This, in a real context, wouldn’t be funny at all. However, the game gives you a good laugh and just a little dose of reality at the same time. Do I see myself getting decapitated because I decided to pet a Gorilla or thrown in jail for a hundred and twenty-seven years because I assaulted a random hobo? No, I’d sure hope not, but in my little curled up corner I’d like to think that I can live out my life, make all the wrong choices, and be able to start over, do it all again, and still not have ruined my own life in the process. The game is free and available to download on the App Store, but hasn’t reached Android devices just yet. However, I can only imagine that, with the popularity of the game, it will eventually spread to many other platforms.
I will include some funny screenshots of funny things that have happened in the game here:
