Pain, nobody ever likes it. When would there be a case where someone would? Two words: video games. When you’re playing a game and finally get to the final boss, then the inevitable happens: the boss hits you, and you die. Those dreaded words flash across the screen: Game Over. Then you’re sent back all the way to the beginning and have to work your way back up to the boss all over again. Then you die, over and over and over again. I experience this when playing my favorite game, Slay the Spire. It is a rogue-like game with aspects of permadeath, randomized elements, and turn-based gameplay, where you build a deck of cards and climb the spire (a.k.a levels) to defeat the boss. Published by Humble Bundle, not sponsored, but if you want to, hmu. Another more recent game with a “rogue-like” quality would be Elden Ring. In this game, you can choose between four characters: Ironclad, Silent, Defect, and Watcher. My personal favorite is Silent, but the closest I’ve ever been to beating the game was with Defect (who was my least favorite, ironic right?) Then we have the bosses, and you may encounter one of the three during each “Act”: In Act 1, we have Slime Boss, The Guardian, or Hexaghost; in Act 2: Bronze Automaton, The Champ, or The Collector, and Act 3: Awakened One, Time Eater, or Donu and Deca. If you are lucky enough to defeat each boss for the three acts, you move on to Act 4, where you’ll eventually go against Corrupt Heart.
Now, I’ve been playing this game since almost its launch in January 2019, and I STILL have yet to beat that boss! In my defense, I do take long breaks from playing the game, ‘cause you know, life. Anyways, leading up to the Corrupt Heart is even more difficult than the previous bosses because you only have one rest stop; this is where you can choose to upgrade a card or get health, and one stop at the merchant, where you can buy cards or relics. You then advance to the dreaded elite bosses, whom you fight simultaneously, Spire Shield and Spire Spear. Easy-peasy, right? W-R-O-N-G! Once or IF you defeat Spire Shield and Spear, you get NO rest stops and go right into the final battle against Corrupt Heart. So, you hope and pray that you do not lose too many health points when going into the final fight.
Let me give you a quick run-down on Corrupt Heart’s stats. First, it has 750 HP and two buffs, a power that positively benefits the wielder, “Beat of Death” and “Invincible.” The buff “Beat of Death” makes it so that the player (you) that, whenever you play a card, you get “x” amount of damage. So essentially, anytime you play a card, you get damaged. Then, after a certain point, the buff “Invincible” comes into play, making it caps all damage and HP taken for “x” number of turns. Ridiculous right?! Once, I even got him down to around 100 health, and the dreaded moment happened: I lost. Honestly, I sat there in disbelief; I really thought, this would be the run I finally won! I was SO close! So, back I go all the way back to the beginning. Ah, yes, there is one more character I forgot to tell you about, his name is Neow, and he is a whale-looking NPC (non-playable character); I get pissed off when I see him. Why, you may ask? Let me tell you a couple of his “sayings” he has waiting for you after you die on the run: “Choose,” he gives you a list of ‘upgrades’ you can pick at the start of the run, and “Hello….Again”. That last one seriously gets on my nerves! Needless to say, I say some choice words to him when I see that particular “greeting,” meaning I curse him out.
But dammit, that’s what I love about this game so much! And why it keeps me coming back for more each time! I guess you can say I like the punishment of the game (does that make me a masochist?) I can play this game for hours on end. I’m talking upwards to six hours at a time! I get satisfaction from doing runs time after time until I beat the next segment of the game I was working on. There’s something about being so close to victory that your heart starts pumping, your palms get sweaty, and the nerves that happen when/if the run is all ripped away in a second because you played the wrong card. I revel in it, making me want to go again as soon as I lose. I’m stubborn like that. Now, if you aren’t interested in playing a game that is six years old, I have GREAT news for you! Slay the Spire 2 is coming out this year, at some point in 2025! No specific date has been announced, but I am waiting on pins and needles for the release of it! On Steam (a digital website where you can buy games), there is a trailer and some sneak-peek photos of the new game. From what I can see, they have added at least one new character called The Necrobinder and various new cards, relics, monsters, and bosses. Alas, nothing is confirmed until it is released. So, until then, back into the pain-inducing Spire I go!
Featured image by Patrick Hood,
