The scariest part of this entire trip was the doggo who wouldn’t allow me to give him love in rubs.
This past weekend I took a trip to Lehigh Valley Scream Park, simply for the fact that I love anything spooky and slightly terrifying. I went with a bunch of my family members, some I haven’t seen in years, so I really appreciated seeing them. Our intent was to go there and do the groundbreakers zombie thrill ride, but instead, we got a bunch of depressed zombies just trying to do their jobs. The goal of the ride was to shoot zombies with paintball guns while riding in a giant truck. I was nervous at first because I hadn’t done anything like this before and I wasn’t sure if the zombies were going to attack the truck or not.
When you first enter the ride there are actors dressed like troops, handing you goggles and giving instructions. Then we are led to a room mocked to look like a bunker where we watched a very cringy video of a fake news broadcast about the zombie invasion. After that we had to crouch through a tunnel, leading us to the truck to get on.
Honestly, the initial buildup was pretty spooky, but everything following that was funnier than scary. We were all shooting at the zombies, listening to “My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark” by Fall Out Boy (never thought that would ever be an actual sentence I’d have to write). I felt so bad for the actors portraying the zombies because they basically get paid to be shot at. I know that when they are shot at, although they obviously aren’t real, their skin gets punctured by it even though they’re wearing protective gear. Also, you were only given 100 rounds to shoot and once you’re done you have to pay 5 dollars for 50 more. The “troops” would flash their bright flashlight in your eyes and say, “You’re out! Do you want to pay for more?” I’m sure I was asked that an annoying amount of times and, for some reason, they always seemed to know when you’d be out before you would. Ultimately, the ride was meant to be 30 minutes, but somehow it managed to only be 15. I left the ride feeling annoyed and guilt for the zombie actors but hoping they were getting a thick paycheck.
Afterward we decided not to do any of the other attractions because of how late and expensive it was. If I’m paying $25 to shoot zombies, they better try to kill me. They barely came remotely close to the vehicle. What a shame. My favorite part of going to this was seeing my family, but also, taking hilarious pictures.
