As someone with zero free time on my hands and the urge to procrastinate constantly, I am always on the hunt for new, funny, random things to become mildly obsessed with. Some things on the internet are just too good to ignore, and it’s my opinion that the best things are found by accident at 3:00 AM, fueled by exhaustion and a coffee high… That’s the scenario in which I found myself when I stumbled upon Nobilified.
Nobilified is the brainchild of Chris Jensen, graduate of UBC and arguably the smartest Canadian I’ve ever come across. In 2009, he decided that normal posters weren’t good enough for him, they weren’t original enough and they most definitely did NOT represent him; in response to those thoughts, he decided to see if he could commission a painting of himself because of the influx of art students on his college campus.
Unfortunately, this great (arguably iconic) idea, would cost him a thousand dollars. So an idea was born.
According to the official statement on their website, “it is firmly our belief that there should be no limit to what people are able to hand on their walls. With Nobilified you can become anyone and be anywhere, you just have to open your mind.” For a small fee starting at $180, an individual can send in a picture via the website and choose a template. You can choose templates by artists (like Bartomoleo Veneto, Diego Velazquez, and Giorgione), or choose by event, or choose by theme (emperors, maharajas, Greek and Roman mythology, religious, royalty, warriors, etc.), or just be boring and choose from men, women, and children. After choosing a template and sending your in picture (or the picture of an unsuspecting friend or relative deemed worthy of a $200 gift), and 14-20 days later the painting will be complete; 5-7 days for shipping (12-14 days for stretched or framed paintings) and you’ll have something that looks like this at your door:
If you’re wondering, yes that is Ellen Degeneres. Since taking off, Nobilified has been commissioned by Hollywood’s most elite, by actors and actresses, and music artists alike. They have done portraits for Bruno Mars and Harry Styles, but if we want to bring it closer to home, they’ve also provided portraits for the Philadelphia Eagles OLB meeting room, leaving traded players who have left the team the opportunity to leave their legacy in Philadelphia in the form of renaissance painting. Also, it’s rumored that Snoop Dogg has one, which in my opinion makes the most sense out of anything I’ve heard in the past 21 years of my entire life.
Here are some examples from real, influential publications and people:
“I’ve got to say this is one of the best paintings of myself as Joan of Arc that I’ve ever seen. The castle is a little smaller than my house, but that’s ok.” – Ellen Degeneres
“Lebron James has been inserted in Napoleon I in Coronation Robes by Anne-Louis Girodet de Roussy Trioson, with the regal orb fittingly replaced by a basketball.” – Sports Illustrated
“Maybe it’s the next celebrity thing: Make yourself into lord of the manor by getting your portrait done in the style of a real painting by Nobilified.” – USA TODAY
“It’s a battle between heroes and villains. A clash of titans and gods. A tale of men and monsters. Super Bowl 50 may very well carry the overtones of a Greek epic or comic book movie. And to celebrate, Nobilified, has created portraits that illustrate the Carolina Panthers and Denver Broncos as Greek gods and superheroes.” – Charlotte Observer
As I have now proven, nobilifed.com might be the most important website on the internet, and as if it already wasn’t abundantly obvious, I will be buying a renaissance painting of my face.
