We made a list of 21 foods we can’t spell. It’s not ranked in any particular order, because just like words, numbers are not our thing. We’ve thrown in some random history and descriptions along with our language criticisms. We also bought a few random items off the list to give a more in-depth opinion. Enjoy!
1. Hor d’oeuvres
Now, naturally, you’re going to see a lot of hate for the French language in this article. I mean, I know what this is supposed to say, yet when I read it all I’m seeing is “whore devours,” but honestly, that’s not too far off because I’d fuck up some hor d’oeuvres.
2.Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilphiokarabomelitokata kechymenokichlepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosirai obaphetraganopterygon
Ah, yes, I never can spell this one quite right. A true classic of Greek cuisine, first mentioned in the classic 391 B.C. play Assemblywomen. We unfortunately could not make this dish, as it calls for rotted shark head, an extinct plant, and some sort of deep-sea mollusk.
3. Barbeque
You would think such a common word wouldn’t slip the mind when it comes to spelling, but here we are.
4. Hamantaschen
Judaism has created a lot of iconic and delicious food with Hamantaschen being one of the lesser-known ones. They are triangle-shaped cookies that contain something akin to pie filling in the center. They are named after the villain in the story of Purim, Haman, who plotted to destroy the Jews and who wore a three-pointed hat. The hamantaschen are made in the shape of Haman’s hat so when eaten they symbolically destroy the memory of him.
5. Charcuterie
Ha, cooter. But in all seriousness, charcuterie is absolutely delicious. Probably my favorite food on this list, even if it’s one of the worst to spell. Why does it start with ‘ch,’ why end with ‘ie?’ Who knows, let’s all get mad at the French again.
6. Bologna
The bastardized American word for a type of Italian sausage. Bologna pronounced “baloney” makes zero sense in terms of English spelling which landed it a spot on our list.
7. Tzatziki
Who would you blame for creating something so outrageous yet delicious as a mixture of yogurt, cucumbers, garlic, dill, and sometimes mint? That’s right, just like in most other facets of life blame the Greeks. The combination of multiple ‘tz; sounds mixed with the ‘iki’ make this word needlessly complex and looks like someone dropped a big glob of tzatziki onto their paper while writing.
8. Worcestershire Sauce
God, England, what are you doing? Foods don’t have to be tongue twisters, but I guess the blokes in Britain didn’t get the memo. Although, the sauce itself has about as much nonsense going on as its name. I mean, anchovies and molasses..?
9. Smorgasbord
I hear this word and my mouth waters. The promise of bountiful buffets and plentiful provisions… ah. I can forgive the spelling of this word. It’s relatively phonetic anyway, and has a pretty rich history. It was actually introduced to the US during the 1939 New York World’s Fair. The Swedes stay winning with their cuisine offerings.
10. Baba Ghanoush
One of the many dips to spawn out of the Mediterranean and Middle East, this is one of the more fun words to say out loud. Before writing this article I always thought that it was one word but my life has been forever altered after learning of the split between baba and ghanoush. It is most certainly an acquired taste or something you grow up eating with it being a mixture of mainly eggplant and olive oil with some lemon juice and tahini thrown in for good measure. Personally not my favorite but it could be yours (probably not though).
11. Rutabaga
Now, I don’t think I have ever actually had to write this word in my life, or even really say it, which probably is how it made it on this list. Also, we bought this one. I picked it up and said “There is absolutely no way the cashier has a clue what this thing is,” and lo and behold, we get up to the counter and she picks the thing up and is like “What is this.” We told her, but I’m not even sure she believed it was a real thing, as we got a very skeptical eyebrow raise. Also, look at this nasty thing, google it or something. All waxy and ugly. We ate it though. The internet said roast in butter, so we did. Not awful, basically a bitter potato.
12. Absinthe
This Swiss drink is the most polarizing entry on our list having been Illegal in the United States until 2007 due to its apparent hallucinogenic properties. The US government has been regulating it ever since. It’s on the list because of the ‘e’ on the end. Stop trying to be fancy.
13. Prosciutto
Another item we went out and bought to try for this article, Prosciutto is usually my go to meat when creating a charcuterie board however spelling it has always been a nightmare. In my head Prosciutto should not be spelled at all like that, giving me a deep rooted disdain for the word.
14. Beef Bourguignon
Another dish with a bastardized American name. It should be either “boeuf bourguignon” or “beef burgundy” but combining the two is scarily close to a cardinal sin. Glorified beef stew would be an understatement to describe the way the word makes the dish out to be. I propose we change the name for the betterment and advancement of the human race.
15. Foie Gras
The French make an appearance on our list for the fourth time now, with this entry being possibly the most alien one to our American pallets. Foie Gras is a French delicacy and an American deterrent as it is the liver of a duck or a goose that was force-fed until death. Fuck the French.
16. Ceviche
This combination of raw fish and shellfish marinated in citrus combined with onions and chili peppers lands itself a spot on our list for containing multiple misleading sounds. It has a soft “C” making the “S” sound, an “I” sounding like an “E”, and since the “I” stole the “E’s” identity, “E” moved to the end of the word and decided to starting sounding like an “A”.
17. Meringue
These things are weird. I have not consumed anything else with the same texture as a meringue cookie. It’s what I want eating styrofoam to be like. It’s pretty fantastic on a pie too. Naturally, my first instinct was to criticize the French for this spelling, but apparently it was actually invented in 1720 by a Swiss chef, though this is debated. Everyone wants to take credit for meringues, and I get why, but I just need someone to blame for writing ‘ang’ as ‘ingue.’
18. Aioli
Glorified fancy mayonnaise is next on the list and its letters are also guilty of sound stealing and its currently standing trial for theft and being French. Aioli is the epitome of how adding garlic and oil to anything will make it taste better. Having two “I”s and neither of them making an “I” sound is a recipe for bad spelling.
19. Sriracha
Apparently, there’s just like, no more sriracha. A drought wrecked the supply chain, and manufacturing pretty much halted entirely. Definitely one of the worst things to happen in recent history. I mean, you can still get it, but the average price now is $15 a bottle. It’s about as hard to spell as it is to get for a decent price, so it makes it on the list.
20. Maraschino
It seems like the creator of this word couldn’t choose between “sh” or “ch” and went the worst route. At any rate, the food itself is delicious. We bought some maraschino cherries. Pretty delicious, very sweet and concerningly bright red.
21. Turmeric
Ah, that sneaky little extra ‘r’ that has claimed so many victims at spelling bees. Naturally though, that ‘r’ belongs there, if you say the word correctly. This time we blame the Americans and their “toomeric,” and turmeric comes out on top. We bought a whole jar to try it for this assignment. I wanted to do it cinnamon-challenge style, but common sense stopped me. The consensus is that straight-up turmeric is not good whatsoever. It kinda just tastes like faint nuttiness and dries the crap out of your tongue.
Image Credit: Chan Walrus
