I am queer. It’s a simple reality, which I have been well aware of for a long time. It’s a fundamental part of who I am, but it controls me no more than a cisgender, straight person’s orientation controls them. Despite this, it is insisted upon me that the thing that matters most about me is my queer identity. As a result of this, I have spent the majority of my life “out” being placed into boxes I don’t belong in, and then people get confused why I appear uncomfortable.
The dominant narrative perpetuated by various forms of media is that queer people have to be interested in romance, fantasy, and celebrity drama. They have to have exotic styles in fashion, media, and sex. Similarly, there are things queer people are told they can’t like. Queer people can’t like watching sports, writing essays, or have ‘vanilla’ taste. These narratives are enforced by some of the most popular media outlets in America, as well as the queer community. Queer people are treated as if their identities define their interests, but no one’s interests are defined entirely by their identities.
My experience as a queer person has involved plenty of queerphobia from more directions than I can recall, but the one that is relevant to this paper is the discrimination I experienced from the queer community. I identify my gender as “queer,” and when people ask me to try and explain it to them, I say it’s some combination of genderfluid and agender. My sexuality is bisexual, or heteroflexible if I want to get super specific. With all that being said, I appear to most strangers as a cisgender, straight male, and have only dated women. I dress in rather plain clothes, I listen to classic rock, and follow sports. It’s because of these tendencies and preferences that members of my high school’s Gender Sexuality Alliance (GSA) declared that I “wasn’t really queer.”
I have a vivid memory of one of the members making a grand speech about how hard it is for bisexual people who date people of a different gender to convince people they’re really queer. This memory is paired with one from about a month after that speech, where they questioned how I’m bisexual while having a girlfriend. I remember when we watched the T.V. show Heartstopper, another queer romance, and people were disgusted that I had no interest in the show! Once again, they claimed I couldn’t be queer. These examples of identity being invalidated are also examples of the dominant narrative being enforced in my own experience.
A quick Google search defines the top queer media outlets as organizations such as Out Magazine, Them Magazine, and PinkNews, scaling the charts in terms of their following on Instagram, respectively. If you visit any of these news outlets (some may call themselves “magazines,” but by my interpretation of their work, I cannot possibly view them as anything other than news outlets), you will see a majority of entertainment news. The top stories on Out Magazine’s website (as of Jan.2026) are about queer celebrities such as Bob the Drag Queen (Sim 2026) and Harry Styles (Mendez 2026). On Them Magazine’s website, you’ll find more stories about celebrities, as well as some stories about politics, culture, and even lifestyle. With that being said, Lifestyle is certainly broad, Colbin Bedell would like me to know that “As Neptune Enters Aries, It’s Time To Fight For Your Life” (Bedell 2025). PinkNews’ current top story, Kristin Stewart’s dissatisfaction with President Trump, is a good example of about 50 percent of the political stories on these websites: the thoughts and opinions of a celebrity on the current political climate (Billson 2026).
On Instagram, each of Out Magazine, Them Magazine, and PinkNews has at least one post from the past 24 hours about the show, Heated Rivalry. Heated Rivalry has been polarizing; one Google search yields an even mix of love and hate. The reviews that love it characterize it as a wonderful romance that explores the depth of exploring one’s sexuality. The show has a large amount of sex, which most people approve of; what the show lacks is hockey. The show consists of no hockey action scenes, which is strange for a show that is supposed to be about hockey players.
I want to make it clear that I have no issue with the queer people who do enjoy the romance of Heartstopper and Heated Rivalry, the fashion and drama of drag, or any of the most popular queer media. I also have no issue with the queer outlets focusing on entertainment news. I simply have no interest in it, and should not be forced to change my interest to fit a mold that isn’t me. I am not going to pretend that I enjoyed Heated Rivalry; Romance is cringy– and there was no hockey in the hockey romance. I identify as queer, I do not need to perform as such, and I do not need the validation of assimilation.
Works Cited
“7 LGBTQ+ News Sites That Are Using Their Platforms to Show Solidarity | Cision.” Cision, 2024,
www.cision.com/resources/articles/7-lgbtq-news-sites-that-are-using-their-platforms-to-s how-solidarity/. Accessed 28 Jan. 2026.
Billson, Chantelle. “Kristen Stewart Says She’ll Likely Leave US after Trump’s ‘Terrifying’ Threats.” PinkNews | Latest Lesbian, Gay, Bi and Trans News | LGBTQ+ News, 28 Jan. 2026,
www.thepinknews.com/2026/01/28/kristen-stewart-says-shell-likely-leave-us-after-trump s-terrifying-threats/. Accessed 29 Jan. 2026.
“Guides: LGBTQ Studies: Popular Magazines.” Unt.edu, 2025,
guides.library.unt.edu/LGBTQ/electronic-resources-magazines. Accessed 29 Jan. 2026. II, Moises Mendez. “6 Times Harry Styles Had the Gays Panting.” Out Magazine, 28 Jan. 2026, www.out.com/gay-music/harry-styles-sexy-moments. Accessed 29 Jan. 2026. Key Differences. “Difference between Newspaper and Magazine (with Comparison Chart).” Key Differences, 28 Nov. 2019,
keydifferences.com/difference-between-newspaper-and-magazine.html. Accessed 28 Jan. 2026.
Maciak, Phillip. “The Narrative Genius of Heated Rivalry.” The New Republic, 26 Jan. 2026, newrepublic.com/article/205580/narrative-genius-heated-rivalry-hbo-max. Accessed 29 Jan. 2026.
Rodriguez, Mathew. “Chappell Roan’s Mental Health Advocacy Leads to Creation of New Crisis Hotline.” Them, Them., 28 Jan. 2026,
www.them.us/story/chappell-roan-crisis-hotline-grammys-speech-mental-health-insuranc e. Accessed 29 Jan. 2026.
Sim, Bernardo. “Bob the Drag Queen’s Moulin Rouge Debut Gets Standing Ovation.” Out Magazine, 28 Jan. 2026,
www.out.com/theater/bob-the-drag-queen-moulin-rouge-broadway-debut-watch. Accessed 29 Jan. 2026.
Featured photo by Bird Parry.
