First things first… hello Loco Mag readers! My name is Will Price and I am a brand new contributor on the Loco Mag team. As you know, issue #89 is called “Good God, We’re Unc.” So, for my first ever Loco Mag article I decided to look at the word “unc” in the literal sense. In this article I will be ranking MY top ten fictional uncles of all time. I fully understand that some very famous fictional uncles will be left off this list… but I do not care! I refuse to rank any uncles from media that I have not consumed. I also have my own opinions on these uncles and will be sharing them throughout the article. Enjoy!
Honorable Mention: Grunkle Stan (Gravity Falls)
Although I said I wouldn’t be ranking uncles from media I haven’t consumed, I spoke with some friends while putting together these rankings and was told it would be very blasphemous of me to not put Grunkle Stan on any list of the best fictional uncles. Yes, you are reading that correctly, I have not watched Gravity Falls… who cares. Based on what I was told though, Stan Pines (AKA Grunkle Stan) is the great uncle to the show’s two main characters, Mabel and Dipper Pines. He also seems to be a pretty important character in the show himself. Maybe someday I’ll give Gravity Falls a watch and have to come back and change these rankings… until then, he’s not in my top ten.
Honorable Mention: Uncle Benjen (Game of Thrones)
There’s one main reason why I kept Uncle Benjen in honorable mentions. As many of you may know, almost every character in Game of Thrones is related. So, even though Benjen Stark (Uncle to Jon Snow, Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, and Rickon Stark) is a great character and an incredible father-like figure to Jon Snow… it would create a very slippery slope!
Honorable Mention: Uncle Si (Duck Dynasty)
This is a funny one. Although Si Robertson, uncle to Jase and Willie Robertson, is an all time TV show character, he can’t be on the top ten for this list. Duck Dynasty may have been one of the most scripted “reality TV shows” of all time, but it unfortunately does not count as fiction which means Uncle Si can’t be a top ten fictional uncle. Sorry!
10. Uncle Vernon (Harry Potter)
Vernon Dursley (AKA Uncle Vernon AKA Harry Potter’s Uncle) is just a putrid putrid character. I struggle to find one redeeming quality in Uncle Vernon and frankly, I wish I could have thought of more fictional uncles to rank to keep him off this list.
9. Uncle Owen (Star Wars)
This was a tough one. Owen Lars, uncle and father figure to Luke Skywalker, isn’t necessarily a bad character. He just isn’t really a good one. I guess he has some good lines, but none of them are very memorable. Overall he’s kind of a nothing for the series and we don’t really know much about him from the movies other than the fact that he raised Luke.
8. Scar (The Lion King)
Scar was really tough to rank. Unlike Uncle Owen, Scar is actually a really great character. He could easily crack the top ten for best fictional villains if I ever decide to write that article. The problem I faced however, is that Scar definitely is NOT a good uncle to Simba. That is why I have him so far down this list.
7. Uncle Ben (Spider-Man)
Ben Parker, uncle to Peter Parker (Spiderman), is an awesome fictional uncle and one of the characters I had in mind when I came up with this idea. The reason he’s so far down this list is because… well… he isn’t in any of the comic books or movies for very long! Spoiler alert! Uncle Ben dies! Before dying though Uncle Ben gives probably the best, most memorable quotes from any uncles on this list: “With great power comes great responsibility.”
6. Uncle Jesse (Full House)
We’re officially reaching the “elite uncles only” part of this fictional ranking. Jesse is very famously an uncle to DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle Tanner. He shares incredible moments with all three of them throughout the series. Side Note: did we know that his last name was Katsopolis? Was I not paying close enough attention? I don’t know, either way any uncle played by John Stamos is easily a top ten fictional uncle of all time.
5. Uncle Rico (Napoleon Dynamite)
I mean, the guy can throw a football over the mountains!?!? He could honestly be number one on this list! Uncle Rico Dynamite is such an unbelievably funny character in a movie that already has so many funny characters. I personally think he’s funnier than both of his nephews (Napoleon and Kip) but that’s just my opinion. It was tough to rank him above some of these legitimately great uncles, but he had to make my top five.
4. Uncle Joey (Full House)
Yep, I did it. I put two Full House characters on a list of ten people. I hope everyone understands why I’m doing this though. The show is nothing without Joey (it’s also nothing without Jesse). There is another reason I have Joey on this list though… he is Uncle Joey, right? Like when you think of the character Joey from Full House you say “Uncle Joey” don’t you? Wrong. It’s actually a very common mistake and sort of a Mandela effect that we’ve all convinced ourselves that the kids call him their uncle. It’s actually never said ONCE in the eight seasons of the show. Crazy right? Either way, whether this “Joey Gladstone” guy that lives in the Tanner’s house qualifies as an uncle or not, he’s an awesome character and acts as a great uncle for the kids.
3. Uncle Fester (The Addams Family)
Need I say more? No seriously, do I have to explain why Fester Addams is on this list? I, for one, am much more familiar with Uncle Fester for his role in the Netflix series Wednesday, but his name is synonymous with The Addams Family as a whole. You could honestly argue that Uncle Fester is the most famous member of the Addams family. He’s definitely more famous than his nephew (Pudgley), but the argument could be made that he’s more famous than Wednesday (his niece) as well.
2. Uncle Iroh (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Uncle Iroh and the fictional uncle that I have number one on this list were such a toss up for me. I am a massive Avatar: The Last Airbender fan, and I believe that Uncle Iroh is responsible for one of the greatest character arcs in television history (his nephew Zuko’s). I also just find his background so fascinating… and his love for tea!
1. Uncle Phil (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)
And there he is folks, the GOAT of all fictional uncles. You can not bring up fictional uncles without bringing up Uncle Phil. The role he played in not just his nephew Will’s life, but young African American children’s lives across the country cannot go unnoticed. Philip Banks didn’t just serve as an uncle and father-like figure to Will, he did for all of us. Even me, a suburban white kid who very much grew up with a dad (and uncles!)
