Sorry, Not Sorry: 8 Things That Definitely Should Not Exist
We live in a world dominated by little strange, unusual things. The selfie stick. Snuggies. Hiccups. Anythings on Atlas Obscura. Crocs. But every now and again, one thing appears in the universe that just needs to be returned to whatever void it came from. Here are a few that should have come with a receipt:
1.Facebook Group Chats
Facebook may be turning into a barren wasteland, but apparently Messenger never got the memo if the 47 new notifications on my lock screen are any indication. Seriously, I don’t care about the neighborhood watch, Laura.
2. The Word ‘Moist’
You have to water the plants regularly to keep the soil moist. Leave a vent open to let some moist air escape. Bring me a moist towel. Uncomfortable yet? People hate the word so much, it even provoked a study as to why in 2014. How’s that for community?
3. This Nose Stylus
Read all about it here. Seriously. I’m not explaining this one.
4. Single-Ply Toilet Paper
If you attended a public school, chances are the dreaded single-ply occupied its stalls. Every school had it, and every student folded it enough to turn it into ten-ply in response. Very cost-effective in the end, I’m sure.
5. The Last Airbender Movie
I can confidently say that as a society, we can all collectively agree that this movie never happened. We’ll leave the bending to its animated counterparts.
6. Mosquitoes
Apparently the little pests that seem to only exist for the sole purpose of being annoying and spreading disease actually have a purpose. I’ve deemed that information unimportant, though, in the face of science being able to prove that Mosquitoes actually target some people more than others. *aggressively coughs in the direction of everyone who’s ever tried to tell me otherwise* Sadly, it doesn’t really have anything to do with your sweetness level — sorry mom.
7. 8 AM Classes.
Whatever leftover sentiment we had from our high school days is wrong. We cannot, in fact, make it to all of the same early morning classes that our bodies were perfectly fine with for the previous thirteen years. Call it a side effect of becoming an adult.
8. The Disney Channel After 2013
The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, Kim Possible, That’s So Raven, Phineas and Ferb, Cory in the House… Let’s face it- Anything that came out after Good Luck Charlie ended doesn’t even deserve to be spoken of. Condolences to any kid that was unfortunate enough to never argue with their siblings over who would end up being the Family Wizard.
To sum it up, some things have a place in this world, and other things simply don’t. I don’t make the rules. Okay- maybe in this case I do. So what do you think? Is there anything else you would add to this list? Is there something from this list you would dispute? Let us know.
