Have you ever drank a can of Coke, but found it was completely watered down and smelled like urine? Me neither, that’s why I’m forcing my dad to try sparkling water with me. I only had sparkling water once in my life in middle school. If I can remember correctly, it was Deer Park sparkling water, and it was DISGUSTING. Since then, I vowed to never drink that melanin-less liquid ever again; until now. This probably won’t be the last time I’ll taste test sparkling water for content since there’s a lot of brands and varieties, and I can only carry so many bags from Fresh Grocer at one time. As far as flavor choices, I chose the prettiest packaging.
Starting with the popular brands Bubly and LaCroix, I immediately spat that jawn out. They both smelled like a middle school sink, and tasted like fish water. My dad immediately spat them out too and then walked away from the kitchen for about three minutes. He did like the aesthetic of the can. Both LaCroix and Bubly have earned a spot at the bottom of the list. The next brand I bought was Sparkling Ice. These caught my attention as they had color and were only a dollar. I grabbed three flavors and enjoyed them all. My dad preferred this as well but unfortunately spat it out because it was too fizzy. This next brand (of which I couldn’t even pronounce) San Pellegrino, was the MOST DISGUSTING THING I EVER DRANK! It smelled awful and tasted like urine (DO NOT ask me to clarify on that). My dad on the other hand enjoyed it and said he could finish it, which is great for me because I bought a whole case of it.
The next one I tried was called Hint. I don’t even know if this counts as sparkling water because it lacked fizz and tasted as if I licked the outside of a Kool-aid packet. It was tolerable but I wouldn’t buy it again because it was almost two dollars. Deer Park and Perrier were both equally awful so I decided to combine them. I only have one word to describe both of them: FOUL. They tasted like straight up poison in a bottle. But nothing compares to the body-shaking, mind-boggling, atrocious taste than that of Alkaline 88. I felt my soul die and refuse to return to my body. My father on the other hand is unfazed by this chemical disaster, and said it “tastes like nothing”. Oh it tastes like something…death. Below summarizes this awful experience and my dad’s ratings of the waters because my opinion would have almost all of them at the very bottom.
