Maybe the amount of New Jersians attending Arcadia University has something to do with the number of “Jersey Slides” I see on 309. It’s not something I had encountered before my time here, but now I see at least one car pull it off per week. I usually think it’s sort of funny in a weird way, but this week I was the one being cut off, which made it significantly less comedic.
For those who don’t know, the Jersey Slide is a slang term describing a driving technique wherein a driver in the furthest lane to the left decides that they have the right to slide right across every lane of the highway to make their right hand exit at the very last minute. Sometimes this fearless (or reckless) maneuver is accompanied with a turn signal, but that is definitely a rare occurrence. Turn signals do make it funnier though, because in every time that I’ve seen them used it has been less of a “hey can I get in here” and more of a “get the fuck out of my way or die” type of usage. Before I go any further, I don’t know exactly where the term came from or who named it, so to my New Jersey driver friends, I apologize for this completely inaccurate *wink* representation of your driving. Anyways, here is a truly spectacular example of a DOUBLE Jersey Slide from CaptainMoustache on YouTube:
There’s something majestic about watching a car weave effortlessly through multiple lanes of high speed traffic without a care in the world. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find it admirable, or at the very least see the draw in this technique. I definitely do, I’m simply not skilled enough to pull it off. I’ve definitely had my “oh shit” moments before trying to quickly make it to my exit from the left lane, but nothing nearly as graceful as a Jersey Slide. Maybe one day…
This week I was minding my own business, listening to Untourable Album by Men I Trust, getting ready for my exit in the right lane when I see this ugly maroonish Hyundai Sonata coming in hot through my left mirror. Before I knew it, the car was up on my left and quickly slid right past me, just inches from the front of my car. Before I was even done yelling obscenities, it was gone. It had just barely made the Chestnut Hill exit. If the driver of the Hyundai Sonata happens to be reading this, I want you to know I forgive you. You were swift in nearly killing myself and two others, yet your elegance in weaving between lanes was quite special. I could not possibly be mad after witnessing such a feat. Thank you for showing me its full beauty.
I hope you’ll all join me in celebrating such a lovely driving technique. I’ll be back next week with whatever new junk I think up while behind the wheel. Enjoy the ride my friends!
