Making a movie is already hard, but distributing it is even harder. Studios have to promote their films and make them seem exciting, must-see events, and it’s not always easy. And sometimes, within the theatrical landscape, things will slip through the cracks. And whether it be poor marketing, strong competition, or just being plain awful, some movies are going to bomb. Just recently, Universal saw their Christmas musical CATS expected to lose $71 million, and their Robert Downey Jr. vehicle Dolittle is expected to lose at least $50 million.
But at least those movies had at least some eyeballs. What I was interested in were the films nobody saw. Movies that opened so low that only a handful of people actually paid money to see them in theaters. And so, with the 2010s wrapped up, let’s look at the worst openings for each consecutive year.
2010:
MacGruber ($4 million opening weekend, $8.5 million domestic, $9.3 million worldwide): Saturday Night Live has made several movies out of their sketches over the past 30 years, but Blues Brothers and Wayne’s World aside, none of them have really seen any success. MacGruber is a prime example. The original sketch was a simple spoof on MacGyver that saw Will Forte trying to defuse a bomb while getting distracted along the way. They were funny 3-minute sketches, but that didn’t mean it would work as 99-minute movie, and audiences had their doubts, as the film couldn’t even reach $10 million worldwide. Despite its failure and mixed reception, the film did garner a bit of a cult following, and a MacGruber series on the upcoming streaming service Peacock is underway.
2011
The Darkest Hour ($3M OW, $21.4M DOM, $64.6M WW): This is not the Winston Churchill biopic starring Gary Oldman of the same name. Instead, 2011’s The Darkest Hour focused on an alien invasion and the survivors trying to free themselves. Outside of being panned by critics, it debuted on Christmas Day in a very packed frame. Films like Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo were all in theaters at this time. Those movies sold themselves on starpower and familiar brands to excite moviegoers. The Darkest Hour’s biggest star was Emile Hirsch, so as people were enjoying the holidays at the cinemas, this sci-fi dud was left in the dust. In the end, nothing of value was really lost.
2012:
The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure ($443.9K OW, $1.06M DOM & WW): The poster child of all terrible openings. The Oogieloves came from producer Kenn Viselman, best known for bringing Teletubbies over to the United States. This film for preschoolers focused on a group of Teletubbie-esque creatures, The Oogieloves, finding a series of balloons to help set up a surprise birthday party for their talking pillow Schluffy (yes, this is real), all the while interacting with a slew of D-List celebrities like Cloris Leachman and Cary Elwes. The notable gimmick was the film’s interactivity aspect. The movie asked kids to sing and dance along to the film and talk to the screen. Essentially, it was taking elements from shows like Blue’s Clues or Dora the Explorer, which were available on TV for free, and asking parents to pay money to see it in theaters.
But Viselman didn’t just want to make an “interactive movie.” He was upset over modern family films having conflict and danger. Yes, really. Viselman hated that films from Pixar and Dreamworks featured evil characters and wanted something that was all love and all happy. God forbid filmmakers put in drama and themes into their movies to, you know, make people invested.
Wouldn’t you know it, families weren’t interested in the film. It looked insufferable for anyone over the age of 5, and preschoolers already had more enriching programs like Sesame Street to keep them entertained. As a result, the film garnered the worst opening ever for a movie in more than 2,000 theaters and still holds the record to this very day, and nowadays is considered one of the worst kids movies ever made. But hey, it didn’t have any evil characters in it, so mission accomplished?
2013:
Paranoia ($3.5M OW, $7.4M DOM, $15.3M WW): This surveillance thriller was intended to be a vehicle for Liam Hemsworth, one year after the massive success of The Hunger Games. The big problem here came from the director, Robert Luketic. Luketic is best known for his work in romantic comedies, with films like Legally Blonde, Monster-in-Law, The Ugly Truth, and Killers. Already the film was at a disadvantage, and when it got 7% on Rotten Tomatoes, it was done for. It bombed, despite a decent supporting cast of actors like Gary Oldman and Harrison Ford, and showed Liam wasn’t able to sell a movie all on his own.
2014:
Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return ($3.7M OW, $8.5M DOM, $18.7M WW): This animated film based on an Oz book not even written by L. Frank Baum, the production of this film is perhaps more interesting than the film itself. The film’s producers, Ryan and Roland Carroll, were already known for shady practices and cease and desist letters from many states, but managed to fool a slew of investors in funding this animated follow-up to the 1939 film in 2006 through cold call solicitations. They even managed to get coffee shop owner Greg Centineo, who never produced a film in his life, into the fray, having him take charge in fundraising parties to get the film made.
These funding practices weren’t just for one movie, but to create a whole franchise, with two sequels, video games, a television series, a product line of toys and more. I must also add each investment was at least $100,000 per person, and after getting about 1,800 investors, they garnered $134 million for this franchise. An estimate of about $70 million of that money was used for Legends of Oz, though some debate if that much money was actually used for the movie instead of being pocketed by Centineo or the Carrolls. After the movie came out, things started going downhill. Very few saw the film, and those that did despised it. It very quickly became a box office bomb, putting any franchise plans on hold.
But it keeps getting worse. Greg Centineo argued that the franchise could still thrive despite the film’s failure, still saying the sequels and television series will still live on, even if not in theaters or on cable. But while some of the merchandising and digital games have emerged, the two sequels and television series have yet to come into fruition.
Essentially, this movie was the result of a massive scam that swindled clueless investors who didn’t know any better, and they got away with it. Even more interesting, rumor has it some of the investment was used to help build up the acting career of Greg Centineo’s son, Noah, best known for his work in several Netflix teen romcoms. By all accounts, this is the most interesting box office flop on this list.
2015:
Jem and the Holograms ($1.4M OW, $2.2M DOM, $2.3M WW): When films like these open so low, the issue is often that it just didn’t appeal to anybody. This is especially true for Jem and the Holograms. Based on the 80s cartoon and Hasbro toy line, Jem, produced by Jason Blum and directed by Jon Chu, was doomed once the first trailer dropped. Fans of the show hated how unfaithful it was to the original animated series, while newcomers thought the premise was dull and generic. With awful reviews, it was clear that Universal knew they had a turkey on their hands and abandoned their marketing plan, resulting in this dud of a film. Sadly this meant that the sequel, which was going to feature Ke$ha as the antagonist, was scrapped.
Another major controversy had to do with a contest the film’s producers set up. They asked fans of Jem to submit videos about what Jem means to them, and they might end up having a bit part in the movie. That bit part turned out to be taking those videos and placing them into the movie and editing them in a way that made it seem like the Jem they loved and cherished and supported was not the Jem from the cartoon they grew up with, but the movie version that was against everything the show represented. Needless to say, it did not go over well with the fanbase.
Since then, Jason Blum has found continued success with horror releases like Get Out and The Purge, while Jon Chu would direct the acclaimed Crazy Rich Asians and the upcoming In the Heights. So while a failure, most of the creatives still moved on to great work.
2016
Rules Don’t Apply ($1.6M OW, $3.6M DOM, $3.9M WW): This comedy about 50’s Hollywood was a comeback vehicle for legacy actor Warren Beatty, being his first directorial work since 1998’s Bulworth and his first starring role since 2001’s Town and Country. Despite the return of Beatty and a solid supporting cast, nobody showed up for this. Due to mixed reviews, and a slew of competition from awards contenders like Manchester by the Sea and La La Land, the film didn’t even reach $4 million.
In all respects, Warren Beatty is more well-known with people today for his infamous Oscars Moonlight flub than this turkey.
2017
Collide ($1.5M OW, $2.3M DOM, $4.8M WW): It’s never a good sign when a movie comes out three years after it was filmed. This action movie was filmed in 2014 and was supposed to be released by Relativity Media on October 2015. However, once its release date rolled around, Relativity filed for bankruptcy and simply didn’t have the funds to distribute and promote the film (it didn’t help the film was terrible). It would later get picked up by Open Road, which also didn’t know what to do with the film, meaning it got delayed and pushed around the schedule from 2016 all the way to 2017, coming out just a couple months after co-star Felicity Jones appeared in the hit Star Wars film Rogue One.
But that connection did not help out, as it got the 6th-worst debut ever for a film in more than 2,000 theaters and was promptly forgotten.
2018
Bad Samaritan ($1.7M OW, $3.4M DOM, $4.6M WW): Here’s a film I didn’t even know existed until now. Directed by Dean Devlin, fresh off Geostorm, another infamous box office disaster, the film was a horror-thriller starring David Tennant and Robert Sheehan. On its release date, it came out one week after Avengers: Infinity War, which became one of the most talked about films in history and generated a record opening of $257 million. Pretty much nobody cared, what with Avengers soaking up all the limelight, and the film wasn’t good enough to spark interest to most, so it was left to die, generating the eighth-worst debut for a film in more than 2,000 theaters.
2019
Playmobil: The Movie ($656.5K OW, $1.1M DOM, $15.9M WW): Like with many films on this list, the production behind Playmobil was more interesting than the film itself. Initially pitched to Sony Pictures Animation by Bob Perischetti, who would later go on to co-direct Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, it was intended to capitalize on the monster success of The Lego Movie. However, Sony was uninterested, and the project was tossed over to ON Animation. The production ran relatively smoothly there, but distribution was a different story. The film was supposed to be distributed by Open Road, the studio that distributed Collide, but Open Road would soon see financial troubles, and would drop the project, for it to land in the hands of STX.
STX had a very confusing marketing campaign. The first trailer set up the film’s plot of a girl being transformed into a Playmobil doll and trying to get back home, while the second trailer emphasized a side character, the spy character Rex Dasher, played by Daniel Radcliffe. It made it hard to understand what the movie was about, but things got really ugly months later.
STX was another studio with financial woes, and 2019 was one of its worst years, with costly bombs like Uglydolls and Poms. By this point, the studio was low on funds and wanted to focus on supporting their critical smash Hustlers in terms of advertising. Like with Collide, Playmobil would pay the price. STX was forced to move the film from August to December, coming out right in the middle of Frozen, Jumanji, and Star Wars. In one last attempt to get money out of people, STX asked for all theaters to price the movie’s tickets at only $5.
Even with that low price, people were not impressed, as it didn’t even reach $1 million on its opening weekend. And sure enough, it became the last major release to be lost with the sands of time.
