Everything is fine. I’ve got my suitcases packed, I’ve said goodbye to my animals, my home, my family and my life as I know it. I’ve been anticipating this trip forever. Now it’s here, I am standing on the precipice of my new life, on the threshold of the airport terminal, when oh no. . .
I have to say goodbye to my family. I thought I was strong, but the tears came the moment I stepped into the airport.
I’ve always been a highly anxious person. Also highly ambitious, restless and highly adverse to routine; even though it’s comfortable. How can this be? I wish I could tell you.
When I was in the eighth grade, my class took a trip to Canada for a weekend. I refused to go. I was so afraid of leaving my world, even for just a couple of days, and I felt like the bus ride would be dismal (mostly because I got carsick!) So you can imagine how surprised the people in my life were when I chose to study Japanese and live in Japan for five months. The pandemic gave me perspective on my life situation. I knew that I needed to seek my fortune elsewhere; I knew that something was out there waiting for me. I knew that I wanted to do more, to be more, to lay claim to more experiences and have a great big web of friends all across the world. I never looked far enough into the future to know who exactly I was going to become. Inspired and driven, I changed my major to education studies to teach English abroad.
For the first time in my life, I navigated from America to a brand new country on my own. Destination: Kyoto, Japan. Needless to say, I was terrified in the days leading up to it. Even though I was anxious and excited to just start my new life already– my independent, on-the-other-side-of-the-world life, I was equally as hesitant. Did you know that the chemicals that produce excitement are the same chemicals that produce fear and anxiety?
My first semester abroad is also a number of firsts for me: my first time traveling out of the country, my first time solo traveling, first time on a prolonged flight, first time in a country with a different language than my own, first time away from my family for a prolonged period of time. When I arrived, I was exhausted after three straight days of travel. For a whole week, my head spun so much it felt as if I were on a boat in a restless ocean.
But I did it.
As I type this, I am now sitting comfortably in that horrible, too-far-from-home place, eating a strawberry creme parfait and debating on how to delegate my time between when I visit the noble Bamboo Forests of Arashiyama and my trip to the snowy Hokkaido region to participate in the Sapporo Snow Festival, where they feature massive ice sculptures the size of houses (and in the shape of houses; look it up!) Thus far I’ve traveled to Nara and Osaka. Each weekend features a new wonder; in Osaka, I had the best tacos I’ve ever had (in Japan, I know!) and got to visit Super Nintendo World. I hiked to Minoo Falls and saw the monkeys who lived there and ate maple leaf tempura. In Nara, I fed the deer in the park, viewed a giant Buddha statue, stayed in a Ryokan (a traditional Japanese Inn) and ate a ton of street food. In my city of Kyoto, I’ve visited several temples and historical sites and have done some serious shopping. And I’m officially an onsen (Japanese public baths) girl.
My thirteen-year-old self would never in a million years believe me if I told her all that I’ve done and all that I’ve seen, even in the short span of three weeks.
The truth is, traveling to Japan in concept is this huge, scary undertaking. It’s on the other side of the world, and so it’s almost incomprehensible. Take each moment in stride and enjoy the process: What shampoo and conditioner should I bring? Should I pack this dress? No, I’ll buy a new one when I get there. Check and double-check that you have your plane ticket, pack a toiletry bag, say goodbye and you’re off!
With tickets purchased, bags packed, watching the clouds move behind you as you jet your way to an incredible life experience, it suddenly feels much more real and much more manageable. When you wave goodbye to your family, think about your younger self, how in awe she is of you, how proud your family is, and how proud you are of yourself. Think about your future self, how many fond memories you will hold close to your heart, think about how profoundly this experience will change you. And though you may be a little teary-eyed, do yourself a favor and take a leap of faith!
Featured image credited to Eva Darron via Unsplash.
