As someone who hates yogurt, I decided to challenge myself to try them and rank them against each other. I know literally nothing about yogurt so all the ones I chose are random and the first ones I saw when I went to GIANT.
First we got Yoplait in the flavor Red Raspberry. I tried to find Vanilla, but the front of it catfished me and I ended up with Raspberry. It was ass. It had chunks of raspberry in it, but they were chewy…absolutely not. Official ranking is a solid 2/10 because the flavor was alright but I was not a fan of the chunks.
Next I tried Chobani cookies and cream and my official ranking is a 4.5 (again out of 10). It wasn’t complete ass, but the cookies and cream part definitely carried. I don’t know how to describe it, it’s just, like, yogurt.
Sticking with the Greek yogurt theme I decided to try a Dannon next (this time plain vanilla). No. If I thought the raspberry yoplait was ass, this stuff was dookie ass. The taste wasn’t even that bad and WHAT WAS THAT TEXTURE? It broke apart like a sponge, it made me dissociate staring into the yogurt cup.
Next up we got a Danimals smoothie – strawberry banana flavored, of course. This one was peak. It has a smooth texture, it tastes amazing, it has no chunks, and the bottle had Paw Patrol on the front. Absolute cinema of yogurt. Official ranking 6/10 (I don’t like yogurt).
Finally, Yocrunch – vanilla with M&Ms. This was absolute heat. M&ms are goated, no critiques. It was exactly how yogurt should be to be honest. Again it was smooth, not chunky, and it was not textured like a sponge (which is very necessary when it comes to yogurt). Official ranking 7/10 (again, I don’t like yogurt.)
Featured image by Jainath Ponnala on Unsplash.
