I wake up in the morning, normally to an alarm. Disgruntled, angry, I lie in my bed knowing that I need to get up because I need to go to work, or to Zoom classes, or a meeting or something. But my bed is soft and warm, and out of my bed… isn’t.
Finally, I get up and go to my kitchen. Before I get dressed, before I use the bathroom, before I brush my teeth or my hair, before I do literally anything I put on a pot of water for my coffee and put my La Colombe coffee grounds in my French Press.
Normally, I’m able to function enough to go through my morning routine of brushing my teeth, washing my face, and brushing my hair while the water boils and the coffee sits, but not much else. If I finish all that before the coffee is ready (which rarely ever happens because my sluggishness before coffee rivals that of a sloth), I just stare at the coffee until it is ready. There is no way I can I decide what to wear pre-coffee, nor can I think about anything school or work related. My brain just won’t work.
After about ten agonizing minutes of being awake without coffee in my blood, I can pour myself a mug. Pairing it with some sugar, some frothed oat milk, or my favorite creamer (this time of year it’s almond milk pumpkin spice).
The first sip usually is tongue-scorching, but I’m desperate enough that I ignore it. My entire body relaxes. Things seem clearer. I feel the gears in my brain start to turn. Another sip and I can start to plan my day.
Coffee doesn’t actually work that fast. It’s purely psychological, I know this, but having coffee to sip on makes finishing my morning routine so much easier. Just the smell of the roast makes me feel a little perkier.
My French press makes about two cups of coffee, which is normally all I’ll drink in a day unless I end up getting coffee with a friend or something later in the day. Generally, it’s two cups in the morning and then I am good to go. It’s not an inordinate amount, but it makes all the difference in the world. One cup, maybe I’ll be okay for a couple hours but by late morning I start feeling tired and unmotivated. No coffee and, well, I can’t even imagine that.
Without coffee, I am not a very happy person. My body feels heavy. I get headaches. I can’t focus or remember anything. I feel sick and grumpy and overall, very unhuman. I won’t be able to keep my eyes open. I don’t have the ability to wake up and just… be awake. I need the extra push to get me through the day.
I know, I know. There’s a small chance I’m dependent on caffeine. Maybe I shouldn’t be. Maybe. Considering I used to regularly drink around four cups of coffee a day, I’m okay with my two morning mugs of joe. I know it’s not the healthiest of habits, but I could be addicted to worse things, right?
And besides, between my senior thesis, an internship, a retail job, tutoring, working on a magazine, and all my other classes, I think I can justify my need for coffee.
Maybe I’ll kick the addiction after I graduate.
Probably not, because frankly, I enjoy coffee too much to try. But, you know, maybe.
