An Ode to Carry On

‘Try this one,’ my sister said, unceremoniously dumping a thick book in my lap. ‘It’s gay.’

I eyed the novel, absently fingering the blue and yellow sleeve. “What do you mean?”

“It’s about gay wizards,” she clarified. “You’ll like it.”

Every winter, I find myself scouring the bookshelves of my local library, searching for a good book to warm my soul when all of my physical appendages have frozen. It’s like the desire has been coded into my very DNA:

Photo Credit and, naturally, edited in part for my own use.

This past January was no exception, but after 4 ½ months abroad, I was naturally in a bit of a reading slump; I hadn’t wanted to touch a book when my very life felt like an adventure. Why imagine other people traveling when you yourself are living the ~dream~?

Of course, upon my return to the US of A and the ghastly cheeto we submit to, the appeal of being home again wore off real quick. I needed to escape. As per my yearly ritual, I began combing the shelves once more for a worthwhile read.

I couldn’t find one.

Between the bookends, I sometimes get lucky. It’s like thrift shopping, a rare original in a galaxy of cliches. I know the book is a good one when I think of it so often that I resort to fanart, because my book rating scale looks something like this:

Photo Credit and again, edited in part for my own use.

My logic is this: if you want to continue to see the characters played out by how other fans imagine them, you read something worthwhile. The characters became fleshed-out people, so much so that readers can bend and maneuver them to their will. That, my friend, is fascinating.

Plus I just really like fanart, but I digress.

My reading slump was abruptly cut off when my younger sister tossed a book into my lap— Carry On, by Rainbow Rowell. “It’s about gay wizards,” she’d said. “You’ll like it.”

Gay wizards, in a published format that wasn’t Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter fanfiction? As a fantasy enthusiast and an avid supporter of equal representation for everyone in everything, I was thrilled by the idea. I’d be a fool not to give it a try and dive write in, no?

One chapter in, and my clairvoyant little sister was right. I was hooked. Work could not stop me, nor could sleep— I was chained to the novel until my fingers were raw from page-flipping, my eyes sore from 24 hours of consecutive reading.

A synopsis from Rainbow Rowell:

“Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who’s ever been chosen.

That’s what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he’s probably right.

Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work, and the other half, he starts something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around, wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here — it’s their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up.

Carry On: The Rise and Fall of Simon Snow is a ghost story, a love story and a mystery. It has just as much kissing and talking as you’d expect from a Rainbow Rowell story – but far, far more monsters.”

A deliciously readable feels-fest, with squee-worthy confessions and fanfiction-esque fluff that nobody asked for but everyone wants. The characters? Wonderfully developed and multifaceted, they challenge the present norms of fantasy writing and pave the way for future LGBTQ+ in the field. In this piece by Joanna Robinson for Vanity Fair, Rowell herself said she thinks her readers are “more than ready,” for a gay teen love story. And why wouldn’t we be?

“People kept saying, ‘I can’t wait for the subtext,’ and I have such a negative reaction to that. No, this is not some cheesy, will-they-won’t-they, subtext-y thing. That’s not a game I’m interested in playing. I’m definitely not the first person to write a gay Y.A. story. By a million years. I do think in our culture there was a time when this had to be subtext, but I don’t think that time is now. I decided to spoil their romance always, every time I talked about it. It’s text. Don’t watch it for the subtext, don’t watch it for the moments [in BBC’s Sherlock] when Sherlock and John make eye contact and the world sets on fire but none of it’s real. As a culture, we are ready for text.”

–Rainbow Rowell on Carry On for Vanity Fair, 2015.

Indeed, we are ready for text. On the slow and tedious climb up Mount Equality, the mountain climbers deserve a reprieve. Love wins, even as these 522 pages of quality content left a void where my heart should’ve been. Where did it go? Oh, on my bookshelf, along with my new copy of Carry On.

The beauty of the book isn’t just in the story; it’s in the meticulous creation of the world, the kickass female sidekick, who also happens to be a woman of color (although of course she’s a sidekick, but in this case it’s somewhat forgivable because SPOILER ALERT, the protagonist(s) are gay men). I felt myself drowning in the words Rowell wrote, losing breath as the romance was served up as the main course, not a side dish or a disappointing “read between the lines.” She wielded humor and passion like dual blades, her words rippling with them.

You courageous fuck. You absolute nightmare.

You were the sun, and I was crashing into you.

Carry On is an nod to a very specific wizarding world, but it is also so much more. It is a portrait of homosexuality/LGBTQ+ in a genre that so often dodges or completely ignores the subject; it tackles the seriousness of loss and depression; it celebrates self-expression and pride in yourself; it’s bloody brilliant, and if you think it’s an exaggeration to say that Carry On does all of this and more, read some of Rowell’s other books. She is aware, she is woke (do the hip young kids still use that phrase?). I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

If you read Carry On and you want more, I’ve got good news for you: unbeknownst to me at the time, Carry On is a spin-off of Rowell’s earlier novel, Fangirl, which centers on a girl who is obsessed with the world of Simon Snow. The character herself writes fanfiction, titled Carry On, Simon. So try to stay with me: Rowell wrote a book about fanfiction for a book, and then proceeded to write and publish the in-book fanfiction. How meta can you get? I’m here for it.