Mainly out of curiosity, you click on the article that says [CHOOSE YOUR OWN ARTICLE]. It’s clear that this is supposed to be a Big Thing— what, with the all-caps title and all, and also all the links at the bottom. It reads:
It was a dark and stormy night, and just outside the trees bent with unnatural posture— Just kidding! It’s not that kind of story. It actually starts:
TGIF! You’ve made it through another week! Which, frankly, is impressive if you consider the state of things. But as you settle in and the busyness of the week fades into a subtle buzz, opportunity floods your mind… You’re looking for a way to spend your time. You’re bored. You want something to eat, or do. It’s the weekend! You don’t want to spend it lying on your bed, staring up at the ceiling and watching shadows shift all night. There are so many options, so do you:
> Stay in and catch up on school work
