As kids, we often have a lot of ideas of what we want to be when we grow up. Throughout my 21 years on this planet, I’ve wanted to be a lifeguard, doctor, teacher, actor, dancer, and even more that I can’t remember. This cycle of dreams continued until I graduated high school when I realized that I needed to get serious about my future and what I would do for a living.
But when I got to college, I had no idea what I wanted to major in. Even though people told me that was common and completely fine, I still felt a huge sense of panic. So, I just tried to experiment with anything I was even remotely interested in. After taking a very random assortment of classes my freshman year, the one that stood out to me the most was “Intro to Film and Media Studies.” That class reminded me how much I love watching and analyzing screen media, and editing videos. I also spent a good portion of my childhood making random music videos on iMovie. It’s always been something I enjoy doing but didn’t think too much about. After that, I decided to take the leap of faith and declare my major in Film and Media Studies. And I was happy with that choice. Even after I transferred to Arcadia, I kept majoring in Media Studies. At that point, I thought my path was set.
However, during the past couple of months, I’ve started questioning that path. Don’t get me wrong, I still love watching and creating visual content. It’s just not exactly what I thought it would be. There’s so much more that goes into video production, editing, and film analysis than I expected. Sometimes, I wonder if I love all of it enough to make it worth the effort and annoyance that often comes with it.
I think there’s also the common fear of regret. Nobody wants to live their life wondering what might have been. What if in about ten years, I hate the work that I’m doing and wish I went for something else? I don’t think I’d be able to live with that feeling.
Even with all of this fear and doubt, I’m still trying to stay optimistic. I may not be as sure of my future as I once was, but I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. The future, in general, is unknown. So why do we feel pressure to make a firm plan and stick with it our whole lives? Also, throughout my college experience, I’ve discovered new things that I enjoy that could be incorporated into a career one day. For example, I’ve found that I really enjoy writing about scholarly theories and applying them to movies or TV shows. If nothing else, it’s definitely something I could do just for myself.
The main thing I try to remind myself of is that I’m only 21. There’s still so much that I don’t know about myself and what’s out there. I can still have my cycle of dreams and try out new things. As my best friend told me, “The world is your oyster.” Why not take advantage of it?
Featured Image by Peri Oberman, via Canva
