The second my eyes caught a glimpse of the prompt for this issue, I immediately thought of a Jack Stauber video of the same name, simply titled “help.” And because my brain has been constantly moving in seemingly infinite directions lately, my thoughts then jumped to a poem I read for Modern British Literature called “Not Waving But Drowning” by Stevie Smith. The connection felt so natural, so meant to be that I wanted to discuss each piece separately and in relation to each other.
Even though they were published (or uploaded) 62 years apart, their contents are fairly similar and very relevant to the daily struggles of people today. Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help even when we need it, especially when what we’re going through brings us shame, confusion, or embarrassment. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we’re struggling until someone else points it out, or we think we don’t need help because no one points it out. Both pieces deal with mental health struggles and how the individual and society around them reacts to those struggles, and because I’m an English major I wanted to analyze and compare them, as well as acknowledge just how relevant this ongoing theme surrounding mental health is today.
In “help,” character A is stuck under a rock but is seemingly unbothered by it. Character B walks up to him and tells him he needs help, defines what help means,– assistance or support– then wishes character A luck and walks away. Character A, with this new information, calls out for help when character C arrives. Character C asks how he can help character A, but receives no further context. This questioning progresses into, “Do you want help?” Eventually, fed up with receiving no information, character C states, “You don’t want help,” and leaves as well.
In “Not Waving But Drowning” a man is presumed dead by those observing him, even though he expresses his struggles to them. The fact that what he says isn’t in quotation marks suggests that his cries for help fall on deaf ears. The observers of this man misinterpret his struggle and misdiagnose his death, believing he died because of the cold water, not realizing he was drowning. They also misinterpret his drowning as simply waving, thinking he is completely fine. One of the man’s final statements, that he was “much too far out all [his] life” was his way of trying to express that he’s been struggling for a while, but it finally became too much and that’s what led him to drown. Because he was in this state for so long it eventually exhausted him to the point of not being able to fight anymore.
Both pieces use metaphors to visually represent what someone struggling with their mental health looks like, as well as how others perceive their situation. In “help,” character A doesn’t seem to perceive that he’s struggling, or is unable to identify where his struggle is coming from. Character B identifies it and suggests that character A get help, but doesn’t actually provide any himself. Character C tries to help, but when character A is unable to articulate specifically what he needs, character C changes his perspective and says that character A doesn’t need– or even want– help. In a different expression of this metaphor, the observers in “Not Waving But Drowning” don’t even realize anything is wrong with the “dead man,” think he is just larking or having fun, and don’t give him a voice to express his true feelings. The drowning man truly does need help but no one is giving him a second thought.
Any and all of these scenarios can be true in ourselves and the people around us any given day, which is why it’s important to check in with people you’re close to, or maybe even people you’re not close to. Sometimes they might not even realize they’re struggling until someone with a shared experience and a different perspective speaks up, which can work on an individual or widespread level. Acknowledging the importance of mental health is a relevant topic of discussion today, and it’s still being overlooked or even deliberately ignored because it’s not as “real” or tangible as physical health. I know from personal experience that sometimes it’s hard to define exactly what you’re feeling, but you know something isn’t quite right and it’s causing your mental and emotional wellbeing to suffer. And it can be especially hard to ask for help when you can’t define or articulate what you’re feeling, but that doesn’t make your feelings any less valid. We need to check in with ourselves and each other to try to notice feelings that might go ignored or unidentified otherwise. If we do that, we can continue and expand the ever important discussion of mental health and maybe give ourselves a more well rounded mindset when it comes to staying mentally healthy.
Here are the links to the pieces if you want check them out for yourself:
“help.” by Jack Stauber: https://youtu.be/FP9y7F_rzzo?si=scOGqAX1p7iYtx64
“Not Waving But Drowning” by Stevie Smith: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46479/not-waving-but-drowning
All images by Carly Maloney.
