Growing up we have all played Two Truths and a Lie, but when it comes to growing up in an Indian family, you have to play no truths and all lies. From saying small lies like “Yes, I have done my homework” to saying “I’m going to study with my friend” but instead going out for a party, it’s a surprise that our noses haven’t started sprouting like Pinocchio’s. If you are Indian, there is no way you can date without lying to your parents about it. You are not even allowed to look at the opposite sex (the only exception being when you are getting married). Because of this, the dating scene in India is non-existential… well, unless you lie.

I remember when I was in eighth grade and wanted to go out to meet a guy I was dating. There was no way my parents were going to let me, unless I lied about it. So I told my mother that I was going to my tuition class, but I skipped the class and instead went to meet the guy. Things didn’t go as planned. My dad ended up seeing me with him and told my mother about it. I told my mother that my dad must have seen someone else as I was in my class. But my mother decided to go all Sherlock on me and called up my teacher and all my other friends to ask them if I attended class that day. She even went on to unpack my bag and scattered all my notebooks on the floor demanding to see the notes that I took in class that day. And that was last time I ever saw that guy!

Now I don’t want to generalize by saying that all Indian kids lie to their parents about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If you are one of the lucky Indians whose parents are super cool with dating, then good for you! But knowing that this is a rare circumstance, I decided to ask some of my Indian friends about the worst lies they have told to their parents about their dating lives and here’s what they had to say:

  1. “My boyfriend once came over at my place to meet me when my parents were at work. But to my surprise my dad came home from work early that day. I was in panic mode because there was no way my dad would find out that I have a boyfriend and not get mad at me. So before opening the door for my dad, I hid my boyfriend in the balcony of my apartment. The first thing that my dad does when he comes home is go to the balcony to keep his helmet and windcheater there. So this time I insisted that I would do that for him which he found fishy as I never offer to do this for him usually. I somehow convinced my dad to go into the bedroom so I could sneak my boyfriend out. I don’t know how my dad sensed that something was wrong because he came out and all he said was “Who was here?”” — Kadambari, 19
  2. “One of my friends once called me and as anyone would expect, I too was expecting him to start the conversation by asking me how I am doing or if I wanted to hangout, but my friend without asking that, randomly started talking about college choices. Although I was confused at first, I talked with him about which colleges would be a good choice and went along with the conversation. It was later when I met him that he told me that he was with his girlfriend when his girlfriend’s father came out of nowhere and was standing exactly behind him and he had to pretend that he didn’t know who the girl was, so he called me!” — Hrushikesh, 19
  3. “When I was in 7th grade, I was dating a guy who was senior to me. I didn’t want anyone to find out about us, so we used to sneakily meet. Once the head boy of our school saw me and him kissing. He went and told the headmistress who then told to my parents. My parents obviously went bonkers. My mother kept asking me if it was true that I kissed a guy and I kept denying it until she stopped bothering me. The saddest part was that it was my first kiss ever!” — Aarushi, 21
  4. “Once when I was in 7th grade, I was dating this girl from my school. I used to text her on my phone all the time. Since I would spend too much time on my phone in class and not study, my teacher told my mother about it. My mother asked me what I was doing on my phone all the time and I told her it was nothing. She once came across all the text messages that I had been sending and she got so mad that I had a girlfriend that she confiscated my phone for one entire week!” — Dinesh, 19
  5. “When I was a teenager, I used to like joking around. There was this one time when as a joke I told my tuition classes teacher that I have a boyfriend whom I meet at my swimming classes. My teacher told this to my parents who went berserk after hearing this. After I told my parents that it was just a joke, they still didn’t believe me. In fact they sent my maid with me everyday to the swimming classes so that she could keep a watch on me. I had no boyfriend!” — Sneha, 21
  6. “Every year on New Year’s eve, my parents go out for an event for the entire day. I wanted to celebrate New Year’s eve with my boyfriend and I didn’t know how to tell this to my parents as they would freak out over the fact that I had a boyfriend. They kept insisting that I go to the event with them. So I literally had to use an onion to fake a fever. To add on to the drama, I also pretended that I was on my period and told my mother that I had terrible cramps which was a huge mistake because she said “Weren’t you on your period one week ago as well?”” -Anamika, 19

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