Picture this: you come home from a six hour shift from work. You’re all sweaty and tired, but you gotta take a shower. Finding motivation to not go, “I’ll take one tommorrow morning” is difficult. One of the best things besides eating orange slices to spice up shower time is to sing your heart out. Singing in the shower is one of the most mindful things a person can do alone. Now if you do not live alone, close your eyes and pretend you live alone in a two-story apartment in the city. My original direction was to take people’s submissions of what songs they sing in the shower and rank them—-but I got rick rolled immediately so we’re scratching that idea. Instead, I have decided to take a “Songs to Sing in the Shower” playlist from Spotify and rank them according to certain requirements. First, the song shouldn’t be too long, I wanna sing my heart out but I don’t wanna be reciting a whole opera, therefore “Bohemian Rhapsody” or all the chapters to “Trapped in the Closet” are not on this list. The second requirement is how danceable the song is. If I can’t dougie in the shower to it, it’s not a good shower song. And lastly, does it have shower in the title? If yes, then it is automatically a good shower song.
Okay, the first song on the list is “Stay” by Kid Laroi and Justin Bieber. I hate this song with a passion, but it passes most of the requirements. I’ll rank it an embarrassing 6/10. “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 featuring Megan (Ahh) Thee (Ahh) Stallion (Ahh). I only listen to this for Megan’s part, but the rest of the song has grown on me. Requirement wise, it almost pushed to about four minutes, which is a little too long of a shower song, but it is danceable and gosh does Megan’s verse get me in the mood. This is a solid 8/10. I should’ve gotten this out the way, but half of the Olivia Rodrigo album is on here. Other than making me hate my ex more than I do now, these are certified shower songs. I’ll give it a 9.5/10. “Love me Like you do” by Ellie Goulding, an interesting choice, but is it a shower song? I mean there are those notes you gotta hit at the end, but overall I wouldn’t consider this a shower song. I’ll give it a 4.5/10. Now I am a biased judge unfortunately, so any Beyonce, Carly Rae Jepson, Doja Cat, and Katy Perry song is automatically a perfect 10/10. Uh oh, I’m running out words so I’m gonna have to speed run this. “Rolling In the Deep” by Adele is a solid 10/10. Every Bruno Mars song in existence, a good 9/10. Any Ed Sheeran song (except the duet with Beyoncé) I’d give a -5/10. “Butter” by BTS is a 6/10 despite my lack of interest in the Kpop genre. “Shut up and Dance” by Walk The Moon, a guilty pleasure is a 9/10 followed by any Taylor Swift song, 8/10. And finally, the most, and only shower song that matters—“Shower” by Becky G, an astonishing 12/10. No one can do better than this. If that song was not in the playlist I would sue Spotify for a hate crime against showers.
