Seeing that Halloween, the year’s holiest party day, just passed and the current issue of LocoMag is titled “Under the Influence,” I’m reminded of one of Gen Z’s core values. In fact not just ours, but of every young generation before us. The club that’s sometimes elusive but always exclusive, the college party– or even just the idea of it– seems to keep our worlds going.
Attending college parties is a rite of passage for students. As we get older and there are fewer people keeping an eye on us, chaos tends to rule. Friends are made, enemies are scorned, and memories are forged in just one night, twice a week.
Gathering together with friends, big or small, formal or informal, is the key way in which college students differentiate ourselves from our past lives. In high school you may have been uncool, but for tonight, you can at least be invited to stand next to the popular kids. The honest truth about parties is that everyone wants to go, or at least they think they do. The prospect of being a part of the in-crowd transcends all of our past lives and current desires, and certainly permeates into our wee college brains.
The reality of partying is much different than what we might hope for. For those who do it often, we’ll review, and for those who don’t do it at all, let me confirm your decision. It can be dirty, sickly, shocking, debaucherous and mean. The exclusivity and danger of it is exciting, and for some that’s the main appeal. It’s a lot more appealing when you’re on the outside looking in, because the inside is a lot less comfortable. Think a little less Euphoria and a little more Requiem for a Dream. There are countless stories of people being embroiled in the party scene, then the club scene, and seeing horrors befall friend and foe alike.
That may seem grim, but it’s an extreme reality. There also exists a much more common, much more pedestrian reality in the party world; a perpetual middle ground between sobriety and overdose. In my experience, college students who do not go to parties generally spend several to many hours of the week longing to be invited. Once the invite comes, nervous anxiety begins, and lack of comparison creates a low standard which makes you think that what you’re doing is fun. When the Frat Flu sets in, so does clarity.
When the novelty of a college party wears off, symptoms of stress, paranoia, panic and regret take hold of even the strongest-willed partiers. The realization usually goes something like this:
Through the haze of whatever you’re smoking, if you look closely, you’ll see that the party you came to tonight is not what you’d hoped. If you take a moment to observe your peers beyond the superficial gleam of social hierarchy, you’ll notice a party by any other name would be just as embarrassing.
Like watching a horror movie with no sound, watching a party instead of participating, is an awkward and perverted experience. In more ways than that college parties are, in fact, horror movies. The highlight of most college parties contain wet teen bodies writhing off-beat to amateur pop music remixes, typically in a basement that would benefit greatly from an open window and some industrial strength disinfectant. Truly an experience only Helen Keller would say she liked watching. While Helen would be lucky enough to avoid the parties’ sights and sounds, she would probably still leave, so as to protect her remaining sense of smell.
The truth is, whether you’re invited or not, the party always looks better when you’re standing outside. Once you get in, though, you may find yourself uncomfortably warm and damp, and suddenly ready to brave the cold again.
This weekend I head to Syracuse University, which in another world might be a socially conservative school that prides itself on good behavior and teen abstinence. In this world, it’s the modern Sodom and Gomorrah. The choice befalls us all this weekend: do we stand inside with the Sodomites or stay comfortable braving the cold?
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The Smoking Section is where I observe the world at large, and put a magnifying glass on a subject we all hold dear to our hearts. As a member of Gen Z, I think it’s important that we take a step back and remember that life is not that serious, and no topic is too good to ridicule. In the Smoking Section, we take a step outside of the party for a breath of less-fresh air. Here if you don’t have anything nice to say, pull up a chair next to me.
@schmidtconrad
