Nothing beats kickin’ it in the freezing cold with no escape due to road closings and accidents, or sometimes even national weather alerts. So you can imagine how many snowy horror stories I have built up from 18 years of Erie, PA. I won’t bore you with them all, just the good ones.
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Let me set the scene. My house in high school was about a 10-15 minute walk from school. On the days my mom had to take our car to work, my brother and I walked to school because we lived too close to the school for the bus. It was my sophomore year, and I was in a boot phase, so I remember slipping on my brown (non-waterproof, might I add) laced boots every morning and trudging to school mid-winter. The winter of my sophomore year, however, was not like years prior. It was 2014, smack dab in the middle of the polar vortex that hit North America.
Now, I do not usually get too cold in the winter–it’s as though my body has adapted to living in the Arctic– but that winter hit me. It hit me head on.
Windy gusts shook me to my core. Morning showers were off the table. If my hair was wet, it’d be frozen within minutes of stepping outside. I was always sick, which just added to the horror. My fifteen layers could not save me from the nose-dripping. Oh, and heaven forbid I take my gloved hand out of my pocket to adjust my scarf. I’d lose a finger or two.
I specifically remember checking the weather one morning to see -10˙F scream at me from my phone, my fingers shriveling into E.T. fingers as I retracted back under the warmth of my duvet, all hope of a 2-hour delay or cancellation gone as my mom called down to make sure I was up for school.
It. Was. Awful.
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Story two came from a senior year of high school. I was (finally) able to drive to school, so I took my time waking up, getting ready and eating. I noticed there was about an inch of snow on the ground, but I did not think anything of it, as literally, every other day had just about the same morning.
It was a little bit slipperier than usual when I was walking to the car, so I made sure to take caution when I finally started to pull out of the driveway. My apartment was very conveniently placed on a hill on main street, so naturally, my driveway was slanted…toward main street. Can you guess what happened next?
I slowly–and I mean slowly–started driving down the driveway and started applying my brakes. All I heard was crunching and stuttering as I drifted uncontrollably onto Main Street in the snow.
A true winter wonderland.
Thankfully, there were only two cars on the road at ass o’clock in the morning, and they were far enough away to stop before hitting me. (I guess I having school so early led to one good thing.) Nevertheless, I basically crapped my pants and took 15 minutes to make the 5-minute drive to school that day.
Erie winters are actually the worst.
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It does not stop there, though, don’t worry. Winters seem to be getting progressively worse throughout the years. (Due to climate change, which needs to be addressed. Here’s how you can help.) Last winter, for example, Erie broke its previous record for highest snowfall in one season and almost broke other records that I can’t keep track of.
It was Christmas Eve, my brother and his girlfriend was at my mom’s house to celebrate when it started snowing. And snowing.
And snowing.
We did not really pay too much attention at first. It was supposed to snow, so we figured we would eat and gather and be merry or whatever you do on the holidays, and by that time, the roads would be okay.
Little did my brother know he’d basically be moving back in for a few days.
Christmas Eve turned into Christmas day and my family had our big breakfast and watched Star Wars. Six in the evening rolled around, it was pitch black, and the snow still had not stopped.
I looked out at one point and saw my mom’s car literally barely visible under the mounds of white. My dog stepped off of our porch and went missing in the snow. One of the little neighborhood kids tried to play outside and couldn’t even walk. It was wild.
Anyway, day three came along and it still had not stopped snowing. Piles upon piles of lake effect snow built up the sides of everything. That was when the news started warning people not to drive anywhere. In fact, anyone who was not authorized to be on the roads would be pulled over and escorted back. Businesses were forced to close, and people were literally trapped in their homes. The National Guard had to intervene and escort medical staff to hospitals and nursing homes for work.
It was a Big Thing. People made shirts about it.
It will forever be known as Snowmageddon 2017.
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(I also got stuck on I90 for three hours because of snow once. That does not even compare to the other stories, but I figured I would mention it.)
If you’re ever angry with snow or winter, read this. It might make you feel a bit better about your endeavors with the devil’s precipitation.
I might be out of Erie for now, but those stories will fuel my bitterness forever.
