Imps are small devilish things or evil spirits. Only these things can be described as impish. These are the kinds of things you would only wish on your enemies and your siblings (mid-fight).
1.Stepping on the tiniest drop of water and then your sock is wet and you have to change out of an otherwise fine pair of socks.
This is absolutely ridiculous. How can one itty-bitty wet spot on the kitchen floor have so much control of the barrier between your foot and everything else?! Now you have to change your socks when you just put this pair on five minutes ago, otherwise you’ll be stuck with squishy fabric surrounding your feet for the rest of the day.
2. Running late and then getting in your car only to realize you need gas but don’t have time to get any.
This just happened to me this morning. Of
3. Someone eating their food so aggressively that their teeth scrape against the fork.
I am physically cringing as I think about this. My sister does it every time she eats and it takes all of my energy not to reach across the table and choke her. Even worse if it’s a stranger in public because you can’t really scream at them to stop before you take their utensil privileges away.
4. Going to the bathroom and realizing whichever family member was in there last decided not to get a new roll of toilet paper when they used the last of it.
Again,
5. Waking up and realizing your phone charger wasn’t plugged into the wall the entire night so your phone is at 7%.
Anyone whose phone has a shit battery knows exactly what I’m talking about. It’s no big deal if your phone is on 50% when you fall asleep if your phone is new and/or functioning, but if the battery sucks, well, GOOD LUCK!
6. People rushing to get bread and milk before a “blizzard” that turns out to be barely 2 inches of snow.
For god’s sake, people. We live in southern PA and there is usually one rough snowstorm per winter (which makes traveling difficult for maybe two days max!) so calm
7. A hole halfway down your straw so when you get to the last half of the drink, you’re just sucking up air.
If I have a straw for my drink and that straw doesn’t even do its job, what is the point of hydrating? Honestly, I am just trying to be healthier and switch from Coke to Diet Coke, but this broken straw that’s preventing me from drinking HALF of my drink really feels like a sign.
8. A car alarm going off for what feels like hours until the owner finally crawls out of their cave and hears the ridiculous blaring.
My neighbor had a cousin stay with them one summer while I was in high school and their car alarm went off every night for probably 5 minutes straight before they found their keys and turned it off. I was consistently woken up from the alarm horns and flashing lights every night that summer. WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-
9. Having the most delicious scoop of ice cream while starving and then eating it too fast resulting in an awful brain freeze.
As an ice cream fiend and someone who is always hungry, I can confirm how much of a frustration and let down this is. Breaks my heart just thinking about it – it ruins the whole bowl. Pressing your thumb to the roof of your mouth? Just an old wives-tale. You’re stuck with a tarnished moment.
10. Reusing plastic grocery bags (save the planet!) and then halfway through transportation, the bag reveals to you it has a giant hole and is dropping all your stuff.
I am all for reusing plastic bags, but they can be so unreliable! If we are going to create a product that’s this awful for the environment, why the hell does it not at least last more than one use?! Grocery stores could easily offer a $2 discount or a 5% discount (something along these lines) for people who bring their own bags! Everyone wants to save money, so why not use it as an incentive to save the environment???
11. My dad making venison jerky in the oven and the entire house reeks of it.
I swear to god there is no worse smell. If you’ve ever tried “self-clean” mode on an oven for the first time, you might have experienced a smell only half as bad. Oh! And the smell, a mix of stale dog food and stinky cheese, welcomes you every time you walk in the door for the next few days.
12. When you light a candle to make the room smell nice and then blow it out because it did the job and the room just smells burnt so you have to relight it (creating an endless cycle).
I
13. Having a craving for Cheerios, going to grab the box from the cabinet, and realizing your otherwise trouble-free roommate left the empty box there after finishing them.
So this is basically the same as the toilet paper thing. Someone doesn’t replace something that you expect to be there and, low-and-behold, it’s not. Hopefully, in this case, there will at least be a different box of cereal next to it.
Please don’t ever do any of these to anyone unless you want them to hate you on some deep level of their subconcious. Trust me, they will.
