Once upon a time, I was an artist. I drew on everything that I could. It didn’t matter what the surface was, as long as it was flat. The best part of my drawings was that there was not a person on this planet who did not like my drawings. My parents loved them, my friends raved over them, and they stopped complete strangers on the streets. Everyone fell in love with them. They said I was talented and that it was unlike anything that they’ve ever seen. But then something happened: I turned eight.
Once upon a time, I was a singer and the world was my stage. It didn’t matter if I was walking to the store for groceries, getting ready for bed, or exercising. It also didn’t matter what song I sang because I could sing everything right. I perfected every harmony and people loved the sound of my voice. They said my voice made me a siren drawing people in. They said that I was the next Taylor Swift and that I even looked like her too. I had the voice of an angel… until I turned 13.
All of the sudden I wasn’t great at anything anymore. I was no longer an artist, a singer, or a writer. I was just a young girl trying her best in life. When my childhood stopped, the compliments stopped. It was an entirely different world. The world was no longer my oyster. It was something entirely out of my control. People still complimented me, but they weren’t the same when I was younger. They became weird, odd, and less meaningful. In my opinion, these compliments are things that I would never say to other young girls, or just people in general.
Once upon a time, I was wiser beyond my years. Everyone was astounded by how profound I was, by the knowledge I had and by the words I spoke. It was one of the first compliments I received that I didn’t like. I always thought it was such an odd phrase to compliment someone, especially to young girls. To be told that at such a young age is weird and I don’t think that people should tell young girls this.
Once upon a time, I was different from all the other girls. I didn’t wear makeup, put my hair up, or get my nails done and somehow, all of that made me not like other girls. This was probably one of the worst compliments that I have ever received. There’s nothing wrong with other girls. All girls can be whoever they want, dress however they choose, and wear as much makeup as they desire. It doesn’t make girls any less smart, beautiful, or cool. If someone ever tells me this again, I will be taking it as a sign to stop speaking to them.
While I may not ever want to go back to being a kid, there are certainly things I miss about childhood, like the innocence of it all. There was no such thing as harsh criticism, or even criticism when you were a kid. You were great at everything. It was so awesome and the fact that basically all of it disappears when you become an adult is criminal. Growing up in a world like this is honestly so difficult and I don’t know how people do it. Not only do they do it, but they do it with a lot of success. It’s impressive. Somehow, they just shake off the comments from other people and just thrive as if it’s that easy.
I wish it was that easy. If I could go through life not caring about what other people think of me, I would get so much more out of my life. Unfortunately, I am not one to let go easily. I am not one who can just shake things off. I know this is not the most ideal way of living and I am working on it. I am trying my best, but damn this is hard. Living life as an adult compared to childhood is so different. Maybe one day I’ll learn not to care as much as I do and maybe being an adult will get easier, but until then I think I might be cooked.
Featured image by Allison Schmidt
