For reasons I would rather not get into, I have spent some of the most forming moments of my early adulthood inside of McDonalds. Today there are more than 36,000 McDonalds operating across the world. Unfortunately, I have not had the honor to eat at every single one of them. With that said, I do think I’ve been a customer at far more than any self-respecting person should admit to. Some people think all McDonald’s are just the same byproduct of a giant corporate entity, but that’s just not the case. Some McDonald’s have an ambience and aura that captures exactly what it means to be an American. This may sound ironic, but I assure you it is the opposite. Based on my experiences, these are my top and bottom five McDonald’s that I have visited and why they are so amazing.
Top 5:
5) The Queensway McDonald’s in London, UK.
This McDonalds, located in the booming city of London had to make my list. I visited this McDonalds many times in the semester I lived abroad in London. Now, I should note that I was of legal drinking age in London, so I would often get the desire to go to this particular location after sipping on a beer and perhaps 4-5 shots of whiskey and a glass of wine if I wanted the antioxidants. Nonetheless, the fries were always salty and the cashiers didn’t seem to mind if I had to repeat my order because my words were mysteriously slurring together.
4) The random McDonald’s somewhere in a rural area between New York and Boston
One time a few years ago I had planned a weekend trip to Boston. The bus ride was supposed to be around 4-5 hours, but due to some random traffic, we were only halfway there 4 hours in. The bus driver, instead of subjecting us all to another 3 hours in desperate hunger, instead pulled over at the first McDonald’s he saw. I wish I had taken note of the specific address so I could give the kind people who took the entire buses orders the respect they deserve. Those nuggets and cold Coke tasted a million times better after getting to stretch my legs after being forced to sit in that cramped Megabus for four hours prior.
3) The McDonald’s at 1663 Old York Road, PA, Abington
This is the McDonalds closest to my college. Not only is the drive thru 24/7, but the employees are incredibly accommodating to certain college students situations. Speaking hypothetically of course, this McDonald’s is the type that would take an order from a drunk college student outside the drive thru at 3AM even if he wasn’t technically in a car and rather had just convinced his roommates that they would definitely serve them if they walked. And they hypothetically did! Now, this hypothetical college student doesn’t necessarily remember how good the Micky D’s tasted, but he assumes it was just as good as the idea to go there was.
2) McDonald’s at 966 3rd Avenue, NY
Alright listen here you piece of garbage reader. If you think you know McDonald’s and you haven’t been to this location then you don’t know jack diddy about old Mickey D’s. Not only can you create your own CUSTOM burgers, you can order at an electronic kiosk (ignore the fears of automation and embrace how cool that is!) and then have your food brought to you. Along with that, it’s one of those fancy McDonald’s in Manhattan with a second floor and a window so you get to sit in a spot that makes you feel like an elite Manhattanite while still enjoying actual good food and not that snobby $40 stuff.
1) McDonald’s 1499 3rd Avenue, Manhattan
OK, so i might be biased but listen up. When I was in high school, I went to school in Manhattan even though I lived in Staten Island. That means I had to travel an hour and 20 minutes to get to school. Now, some days at 3:00, guess what? I didn’t feel like going through the whole GODDAMNED PROCESS of taking a train and ferry and then ANOTHER TRAIN home right away. Some days I wanted to just relax before the whole monstrosity happened for the second time in my day.
And that’s where this McDonald’s came in. Just cheap enough that I could afford to be here and sit for a few hours with friends without being kicked out (thanks to the ample amount of seating) and a second floor so we were separated form the hordes of people coming in and out. Warm in the cold winter, and air conditioned in the hot summer days. Free Wi-fi so you can do your homework and there’s even a janitor that comes to tables and clears them in this friendly way that says “stay as long as you like if you’re polite, but please don’t stay with a filthy table!” Along with that, this was like the first McDonald’s I ever saw that had one of those soda machines with every flavor so you can combine vanilla coke and raspberry sprite. Along with that, it’s where I grew up. Its where I became a man based on your expression of that phrase. And it’s where my heart is.
Bottom 5 McDonalds:
5) Many of them after 11:00PM
Many McDonald’s close after 11PM. This is ridiculous, as you never know when or where the cravings will hit. Someone should find a way to adjust this so they are all open all the time.
4) The ones where women aren’t respected.
The #metoo and other movements have shows us as a society that we clearly have created a massive systematic problem when it comes to showing women respect. I’m sure this problem has extended into a McDonald’s at least once in the past. While this movement is in the limelight, we need to extend its shining light into fast food as well. We can not rest until all women get the respect they deserve in all McDonalds!
3) The ones where minimum wage isn’t high enough.
Minimum wage in PA is $7.25 an hour! That does not meet the standard of living. I’m sure these are all fine McDonalds’ but how can they serve the best burgers in their hearts when they’re their employees may be (are) struggling to make ends meet. Increase the wage, increase the quality, that’s just how it goes.
2) The McDonald’s at 52 Fulton Street
Look I don’t want to call any specific McDonald’s out but this one is just kind of sucky. I only went to it once, but why would I go back? The floor was dirty. My food took a really long time to be ready even though it wasn’t that crowded. Then all my fries were a little soggy. I’m sure this McDonalds can be fine with some love and affection, but the time I went it was just missing. I’m not saying not to go to this McDonalds, cuz hell even if it’s bad its still Mickey D’s.
1 ) The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Honestly, this place has no right to call itself a McDonalds. Not only is it IMPOSSIBLE to find where the food is served, but it’s not nearly as modern as you’d expect the world’s biggest fast-food chain to be. Rather than have touch screen kiosks or automatic soda dispensers, the place is filled with Greco-Roman art for no apparent reason. Along with that, it’s got a massive staircase. If I wanted to exercise I wouldn’t be going to a McDonalds. For these reasons, it is by far the WORST McDonalds I have ever been to.
